"Give me some more tea, Cuckoo," Julian said, thrusting his cup towards
her. "Make it strong. It's picking me up." He sat forward in his chair
and began to light a cigar, keeping his eyes on the doctor.
"Well, if you call that a change; to get like other men. Old Val was a
saint. I loved him then, but I love him ten times more now he's--a--the
other thing, you know. Ten times more. He knows the world now, and his
advice is worth having. I'd follow him anywhere. He can't go wrong. Takes
care of himself, and of me too. I might have been anything--anything, but
for him. Instead of what I am--"
He drew himself up with some pride, and pulled at the cup which Cuckoo
pushed towards him.
"I'm just what Val makes me; just what he makes me," he said, taking
obvious joy in the thought. "Val can make me do anything. You know that,
doctor?"
"Yes. Then you have changed with him, become more of a man, as you call
it, with him. Is that so, Julian?"
"I suppose so."
Julian was drinking his tea, which had become very strong from standing.
"And are you happier than you were before?"
The doctor spoke insistently and gravely. Cuckoo had taken Jessie onto
her lap and now stroked the little dog quickly and softly with a thin,
fluttering hand. Julian seemed trying to think, to dive into his mind and
discover its real feelings.
"I suppose so," he said presently. "But who's happy? I should like to
know. Cuckoo isn't. Are you, Cuckoo?"
It seemed a cruel question, addressed to that spectre of girlhood.
"I dunno," she answered swiftly. "It don't matter much either way."
"She may be," the doctor said. "And you were happy, Julian."
The tea had certainly cleared the boy's brain. His manner was more
sensible, and the heavy sensuality had gone from his eyes. Though he
still looked haggard and wretched, he was no longer the mere wreck of
vice he had seemed when he drifted into the little room out of the fog.
"Was I?" he said slowly. "It seems a devil of a time ago."
The doctor's heart warmed to these two young creatures, children to
him, yet who had seen so much, gone so far down into the depths that
lie beneath the feet of life. He thought in that moment that he could
willingly give up all his own peace of mind, success, fame, restfulness
of heart, to set them straight up, face to face with strength and purity
once more. One was well born, educated, still handsome, the other a
so-called lost woman, and originally only a very poor and hopelessly
ignorant girl. Yet their community of misery and sorrow put them side
by side, like two children who gather violets in a lane together, or
drown together in some strong, sad river.
"It is not so long, Julian," he said. "Only before Valentine's trance."
Julian caught him up quickly.
"Why d'you say that, doctor?"
"Why? Simply because it is truth."
"You're always at that trance. I believe it's just because you told us
not to sit again. But there was no harm done."
"You are sure of that?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account