Never had the doctor known so peculiar, and even awe-striking, an
experience as that which he now underwent. What utterly bewildered him
was the circumstance of this undoubted new and definite personality
enclosed in this tiny room with him and with his three companions. He
was receiving the impression of the thoughts of a stranger. Yet there
was no stranger in the chamber. And he was vexed and curiously irritated
by the fact of the impression being at the same time very vague and very
violent, like the cry of a man which reaches you faintly from a very long
distance, but which you feel instinctively to have been uttered with the
frantic force of death or of despair. And the mind of this stranger was
tugging at the doctor's mind, anxiously, insistently. There was a depth
of distress in it that was as no mere human distress, and that moved the
doctor to a mood beyond the mood of tears or of prayers. There came over
him an awful sense of pity for this stranger-soul. What had it done? How
was it circumstanced? In what ghastly train of events did it move? It was
surely powerful and helpless at the same time; a cripple with a mind on
fire with fight; Samson blind. He felt that it wanted something--of him,
or of his companions, some light in its severe desolation. Deeper and
deeper grew his horror and pity for it, deeper and deeper his sense of
its ill fate. The woe of it was unearthly, yet more than earthly woe.
Similes came to the doctor to compare with its dreadful circumstance:
a child motherless in a world all winter; a saint devoted to hell by
some great error of God; even one more blasphemous, and more _bizarre_
still--God worsted by humanity, and, at the last, helpless to reclaim
the souls to which He had Himself given being; lonely God in a lonely
heaven, seeing far-off hell bursting with the countless multitudes of
the writhing lost. This last simile stayed with him. He fancied, he
felt--not heard--the voice of this frustrate God calling to him: "Do what
I could not do. Strive to help My impotence. A little--a little--and even
yet hell would stand empty, the vacant courts of heaven be filled.
Act--act--act."
"Doctor, why are you trembling? Why are you trembling?"
It was the voice of Valentine that spoke. The doctor, by an effort so
painful that the memory of it remained with him to the end of his life,
recalled his mind from its journey.
"Trembling!" he said. "What do you mean? I am all right. I am quietly in
my place. How long have we been sitting?"
"An immense time I fancy. It seems fruitless, Julian!"
"Yes."
Julian's voice sounded heavy and weary.
"Don't you think we had better stop?"
"If you like."
Valentine got up and turned on the light.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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