But in the course of the spring and summer he found it one thing to call
a halt and quite another to make one. The cross current of influence,
which had its source in Flamsted, was proving, against his will and
judgment, too strong for him. He knew this and deplored it, for it
threatened to carry him away from the shore towards which he was
pushing, unawares that this apparently firm ground of attainment might
prove treacherous in the end.
"Every man has his weakness, and she's mine," he told himself more than
once; yet in making this statement he was half aware that the word
"weakness" was in no sense applicable to Aileen. It remained for the
development of his growing passion for her to show him that he was
wholly in the wrong--she was his strength, but he failed to realize
this.
Champney Googe was not a man to mince matters with himself. He told
himself that he was not infatuated; infatuation was a thing to which he
had yielded but few times in his selfish life. He was ready to
acknowledge that his interest in Aileen Armagh was something deeper,
more lasting; something that, had he been willing to look the whole
matter squarely in the face instead of glancing askance at its profile,
he would have seen to be perilously like real love--that love which
first binds through passionate attachment, then holds through congenial
companionship to bless a man's life to its close.
"She suits me--suits me to a T;" such was his admission in what he
called his weak moments. Then he called himself a fool; he cursed
himself for yielding to the influence of her charming personality in so
far as to encourage what he perceived to be on her part a deep and
absorbing love for him. In yielding to his weakness, he knew he was
deviating from the life lines he had laid with such forethought for his
following. A rich marriage was the natural corollary of his
determination to advance his own interests in his chosen career. This
marriage he still intended to make, if possible with Alice Van Ostend;
and the fact that young Ben Falkenburg, an old playmate of Alice's, just
graduated from college, the "other man" of the cotillon favors, was the
first invited guest for the prospective cruise on Mr. Van Ostend's
yacht, did not dovetail with his intentions. It angered him to think of
being thwarted at this point.
"Why must such a girl cross my path just as I was getting on my feet
with Alice?" he asked himself, manlike illogically impatient with Aileen
when he should have lost patience with himself. But in the next moment
he found himself dwelling in thought on the lovely light in the eyes
raised so frankly to his, on the promises of loyalty those same eyes
would hold for him if only he were to speak the one word which she was
waiting to hear--which she had a right to hear after his last visit in
July to Flamsted.
If he had not kissed her that once! With a girl like Aileen there could
be no trifling--what then?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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