"Never anything more; only that day when he took my boy in his arms and
said what he did, we both knew we could not see much of each other for
the rest of our lives--that's why I've kept so much to myself. He kissed
the baby then, laid him in my arms and, stooping, kissed me once--only
once--I've lived on that--and said: 'I will do all I can for this boy.'
And--and"--her lips trembled for the first time--"that little baby, as
it lay on my breast, saved us both. It was renunciation--but it made me
hard; it killed Louis.
"I saw Louis seldom and always in the presence of my boy. But Almeda
Champney was not satisfied with what she had done; she transferred her
jealousy to my son. She was jealous of every word Louis spoke to him;
jealous of every hour he was with him. When Louis died, still young--my
son was left unprovided for. That was Almeda Champney's work--she
wouldn't have it.
"Then I sold the first quarry for means to send Champney to college; and
I sold the rest in order to start him well in business, in the world.
But I know that at the bottom of my ambition for him, was the desire
that he might succeed in spite of the fact that his aunt had kept from
him the property which Louis Champney intended to be his. My ambition
has been overweening for Champney's material success--I have urged him
on, when I should have restrained. I have aided him to the extent of my
ability to attain his end. I longed to see him in a position that,
financially, would far out-shine hers. I felt it would compensate in
part. I loved my son--and I loved in him Louis Champney. I alone am to
blame for what has come of it--I--his mother."
Her lips trembled excessively. She waited to control them before she
could continue.
"Last night, when I begged her to help me, she answered me with what I
told you. I could bear no more--"
She leaned back on the pillows, exhausted for a while with her great
effort, but the light of renewed life shone from every feature.
"I am better now," she said, turning to Father Honore the dark hollow
eyes so full of gratitude that the priest looked away from her.
While this page in human history was being laid open before him, Father
Honore said nothing. The confession it contained was so awful in its
still depths of pure passion, so far-reaching in its effects on a human
soul, that he felt suddenly the utter insignificance of his own
existence, the futility of all words, the meagreness of all sympathetic
expression. And he was honest enough to withhold all attempt at such.
"I fear you are very tired," he said, and rose to go.
"No, no; I am better already. The telling has done me such good. I shall
soon be up and about. When do you go?"
"This afternoon; and you may expect telegrams from me at almost any
time; so don't be alarmed simply because I send them. I thought you
would prefer to know from day to day."
"You are good--but I can say nothing." The tears welled at last and
overflowed on her cheeks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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