Flower, Fruit, and Thorn Pieces;: or, the Wedded Life, Death, and Marriage of Firmian Stanislaus Siebenkaes, Parish Advocate in the Burgh of Kuhschnappel.Jean Paul
General
Flower, Fruit, and Thorn Pieces;: or, the Wedded Life, Death, and Marriage of Firmian Stanislaus Siebenkaes, Parish Advocate in the Burgh of Kuhschnappel.
Jean Paul
German fiction -- Translations into English
It will not take me too far out of my way to expend a word or two on
this subject. This full-dress arm had been borne by Siebenkæs's father
on his body (as it might be in the field of his escutcheon) ever since
the time when he had lost his natural arm in the military service of
the before-mentioned prince, who, as some slight reward, had got him
his appointment as gun-loader to his corps of Jägers. The gun-loader
wore this auxiliary arm fastened to a hook on his left shoulder; it
being more like the arm of a Hussar's pelisse, or an elongated glove,
worn by way of ornament, than as a _mouth_ Christian of an arm
(pretending to be what it was not). In the education of his children,
however, the leather arm served, to some extent, the purpose of a
school library and Bible Society, and was the _collaborateur_ of the
fleshly arm. Every-day shortcomings--for instance, when Firmian made a
mistake in his multiplication, or rode on the pointer dog, or ate
gunpowder, or broke a pipe--were punished _not_ severely, that is, only
with a stick, which in all good schools runs up the backs of the
children by way of capillary sap-vessel or siphon, to supply the
nourishing juice of knowledge; or is the carriage-pole to which entire
winter-schools are harnessed, and at which they tug with a will. But
there were two other sorts of transgressions which he punished _more_
severely. When one of the children laughed at table during meals, or
hesitated, or made a blunder during the long table-grace or evening
prayers, he would immediately amputate his adventitious arm with his
natural one, and administer a tremendous thrashing to the little
darling.
Firmian remembered, as if it had happened yesterday, one occasion when
he and his sisters had been thrashed, turn about, for a whole half-hour
at dinner-time with the battle-flail, because one of them began to
laugh while the long muscle was swishing about the ears of another, who
was serious enough. The sight of the bit of leather made his heart burn
even at this day. I can quite see the advantage to parents and teachers
who try the expedient of unhooking an empty by an organic arm, and
smiting a pupil with this species of Concordat, and alliance between
the _temporal_ and _spiritual arms_; but this mode of punishment ought
to be _invariably_ the one made use of; for there is nothing which
infuriates children more than anything _new_ in the way of instruments
of punishment, or a new mode of application of those in general use. A
child who is accustomed to rulers and blows on the back, must not be
set upon with boxes on the ear and bare hands; nor one accustomed to
the latter treated to the former. The author of these Flower-pieces had
once a slipper thrown at him in his earlier days. The scar of that
slipper is still fresh in his heart, whereas he has scarcely any
recollection of lickings of the ordinary sort.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account