Flower, Fruit, and Thorn Pieces;: or, the Wedded Life, Death, and Marriage of Firmian Stanislaus Siebenkaes, Parish Advocate in the Burgh of Kuhschnappel.Jean Paul
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Flower, Fruit, and Thorn Pieces;: or, the Wedded Life, Death, and Marriage of Firmian Stanislaus Siebenkaes, Parish Advocate in the Burgh of Kuhschnappel.
Jean Paul
German fiction -- Translations into English
The advocate went up and down, all behung with long chains of
ratiocination, like a ghost, and would fain have succeeded in imbuing
her with the idea that she shouldn't give herself the slightest bother
of any kind about the nincompoop. "It was no good," she said, "what
would he think of me?" It was not until having eliminated from the room
as a piece of crudity his old ink-bottle, into which he had only that
minute put ink-powder to dissolve and make ink for the 'Selection from
the Devil's Papers,' she was about to lay hands on that holy ark, his
writing-table--that the head of the house ramped up--on his hind legs,
pointing with his fore paw to the line of demarcation.
Rosa appeared! Nobody who had just a little soft place in his heart
could really have cursed this youngster, or beaten him into a jelly;
one rather got to feel a kind of a liking for him, between his pranks.
He had white hair on his head and on his chin, and was soft all over;
and had stuff like milk instead of blood in his veins, like the
insects, just as poisonous plants have generally white milky juice. He
was of a very forgiving nature, especially towards women, and often
shed more tears himself in an evening at the theatre than he had caused
many whom he had ruined to let fall. His heart was really not made of
stone, or lapis infernalis, and if he prayed for a certain time, he
grew pious during the process and sought out the most time-honoured of
religious formularies to give in his adhesion to them then and there.
Thunder was to him a watchman's rattle, arousing him from the sleep of
sin. He loved to take the needy by the hand, especially if the hand was
pretty. All things considered, he may perhaps get to heaven sooner or
later; for, like many debtors in the upper circles of society, he
doesn't pay his play-debts, and he also has in his heart an inborn
duel-prohibition against shooting and hacking. As yet he is not a man
of his word; and if he were poorer, he would steal without a moment's
hesitation. Like a lap-dog, he lies down wagging his tail at the feet
of people of any importance, but tugs women by the skirts, or shows his
teeth and snarls at them.
Pliant water-weeds of this sort fall away from the very slightest
satiric touch, and you can't manage to hit them with one, richly as
they deserve it, because its effect is only proportionate to the
resistance it meets with. Siebenkæs would have been better pleased had
Von Meyern only been a little rougher and coarser, for it is just these
yielding, pitiful, sapless, powerless sort of creatures that filch away
good fortune, hard cash, feminine honour, good appointments and fair
names, and are exactly like the ratsbane or arsenic, which, when it is
good and pure, must be quite white, shining and transparent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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