The Jews hold that when Messiah comes, hell will be joined on to paradise, so as to make a bigger dancing saloon. And all the year long, Siebenkæs occupied himself in building and adding on his torture chambers and schools of suffering to the entertainment halls of his bagatelle, so as to have more room to perform his ballets. He often said a medal should be struck for any citizen who should be three hundred and sixty-five days, five hours, forty-eight minutes and fifty-five seconds, without either growling or snarling. He wouldn't have got that medal himself in the year 1785. On the third day, the Saturday, he was so wild at his wife's speechlessness, that he was wilder still with that kill-joy of an Everard. For, of course, that minnesinger, might come in again at any moment, bringing in his company the goddess of discord (who, as directrix and ambassadress, performs such important poetical functions in Voltaire's Henriade), and introducing her into the homely "Volkslied" of an advocate, by way of a _dea ex machina_ to unloose the matrimonial knot, and tie a fresh one with the Venner. Siebenkæs accordingly wrote him the following academic-controversial document. "May it please your Lordship, "I take the liberty to lay before your Lordship in this little memorial my humble petition, "That you will be pleased to stay at home, and spare me the honour of your visits. "Should your Lordship find it necessary to become possessed of a certain quantity of my wife's hair--the undersigned hereby undertakes to cut and deliver the same himself. In the event of your Lordship's being minded to exercise a _jus compascui_, or right of free common and pasturage in my premises, and appearing therein in person, I shall embrace with much pleasure the opportunity then afforded me of plucking as many of your Lordship's own hairs as may be requisite to constitute a souvenir out of your Lordship's head, by the roots, like monthly radishes, with my own hands. While I was in Nürnberg, I used often to go and dine in the neighbouring villages (against the will of the authorities) with a fine old PRUGEL KNECHT,[27] _i. e_. with a private tutor, who had towzed out and excerpted from the heads of three little slips of nobility, while he was giving them their lessons, enough silky hair to make him a handsome mouse-coloured bag-wig, which the man most probably wears to this day. His motive in thus applying himself to the production of silk, or rather, his reason for divesting these little heads of their exterior foliage, was, that his own beams might the more effectually ripen the fruit within, as, for similar reasons, it is usual to remove leaves from the vines in August. "I have the honour to remain, &c."