Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; First loves -- Fiction; Ireland -- Fiction
“Yes; though I was thinking more of the hotel. It seems to me you go to
the hotel nearly every evening now.”
He smiled, indifferently. “There’s nothing else to do.”
“It seems stupid to chum up with people about twice your age,” I
persisted.
“They’re not twice my age. Some of them aren’t very much older than I
am. What harm does it do?”
“Well, I was only with you once, but I didn’t like what I saw there,
especially towards the end of the evening.”
“What didn’t you like, Peter?” he asked, good-humouredly.
“I thought it looked silly――and a little disgusting. There were you, a
chap barely eighteen, calling Captain Denby, who’s about fifty, by his
Christian name. You must know well enough that he’s as gross as a pig.
What does he care about your playing? And what pleasure, anyway, can it
give you to play a lot of waltzes and popular songs?”
“He cares as much for my playing as you do.”
“My dear Gerald, if you think that you’re a fool.”
“You sat quiet enough at the time. You were afraid to open your mouth.”
“That may be so, but it doesn’t alter the fact that I was infinitely
superior to anyone in that room except yourself.”
“I daresay you were, Peter. I never doubt your superiority. There’s one
thing you forget, however, and that is that any friendship there may be
between you and me is a pretty one-sided affair.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, uncomfortably.
“Only that you’ve never given it much encouragement.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I’m sure. Partly, I should think, because you rather
dislike me. That always stands in the way of such things.”
His irony rang unpleasantly true. “Why should you think I dislike you?”
I said, very weakly.
“It would take too long to explain. It never gave me any particular
pleasure to think so――at first, just the reverse――and I mention it now
merely at your request.”
I didn’t quite know what to say. “Isn’t my speaking to you about this
matter a proof of my not disliking you?” I risked. “I thought we had
always been friends.”
“No, Peter, your friend is a prig called Owen Gill.”
“Owen isn’t a prig,” I said warmly, glad to have a chance to put him in
the wrong, but my chance did not last.
“I beg your pardon,” said Gerald, “even if he was, I shouldn’t have
called him one to you.”
“Better say it to me, if you’re going to say it at all. I can defend
him.”
“I daresay there is no harm in being a prig.”
“Owen is a good deal finer chap than either you or I.”
“And yet neither of us would change with him! But the point is hardly
worth discussing.”
“I don’t want to discuss it.”
“You want to give me good advice? Well, fire ahead.”
“Oh, there’s no use in my saying anything. You know it all well enough
yourself, and if you think it better to go on as you are doing, I can’t
interfere. But it seems to me stupid to get into bad habits.”
“Have you no bad habits, Peter?”
“I’m not talking about myself.”
“That’s true.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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