Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; First loves -- Fiction; Ireland -- Fiction
We still shared the same bedroom, and at night he liked to talk before
going to sleep. He had obtained a considerable influence over me,
more than anybody else ever did or was to do, yet it is difficult
to describe what it consisted in, or why it should have come about.
I had an extremely poor opinion of him: I knew he had not even a
rudimentary conscience: frequently he repelled, and even disgusted,
me: but always, by some instinct, he seemed to know when he had
done so, and he had a special gift for recovering lost ground. His
influence was bad――absolutely――and yet what was so harmful to me did
not, so far as I know, have any particularly disastrous effect upon
George himself. He had an amazingly licentious imagination, and,
in this direction, a power of vivid suggestion. As I became more
accustomed to him, things that had at first jarred upon me ceased to
do so; but it was doubly unfortunate that I should have been thrown so
intimately into his society just at this particular time. Had I been
either older or younger, or had I had any other friends, the effect
would not have been so injurious. It was not that I had not heard
my share of Rabelaisian talk before. This was, somehow, different.
At all events, the other had passed off me easily, awakening no
after-thoughts, leaving my senses untroubled. It was not so now. My
mind became disturbed, and, above all, my dreams were coloured by
certain obsessions which George took a delight in evoking. In my dreams
his suggestions became realities, and his imagination seemed to brood
over them like an evil angel. I do not think he was himself conscious
of it, conscious, that is, that what for him appeared to be no more
than a sort of intellectual pastime, which he could shake from him as
easily as one might turn off a tap, assumed with me a darker form. His
words appeared to touch me physically, and with an appalling directness
and persistency. He had a trick of re-telling stories he had read,
twisting them and altering them with an astonishing ingenuity, so as
to introduce the element he revelled in, and he never became crude
or brutal till he had carefully prepared his ground. And it was all
transformed by a curious gift of humour, which was in itself something
quite inimitable, consisting, as it did, largely in his personality and
manner, in an unquenchable liveliness, and a faculty of mimicry.
CHAPTER XXII
Two months went by in this fashion, and I had begun to look forward to
Christmas and to count the weeks that separated me from the holidays,
when an incident occurred which was the means of my forming an
acquaintance that was to develop into the most intimate friendship of
my life. It befell in this way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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