“It was a very curious thing,” she said steadily, and smiling into his
angry, infuriated face. “It’s rather dree to know one has a double. I
hope you’re convinced now. If not, go into the next room. See if you
can find a violet gown. Shall we go together and hunt?”
“You’ll swear you weren’t there?”
“I’ve told you I wasn’t--I’m tired of telling. Now, about this woman?”
“Never mind who she was. It’s not your affair.”
“But----”
“I’ve given you my definition of married fidelity,” he said, with an
ugly, puzzling grin full on her quivering face. “Nothing matters--so
long as the other one doesn’t find out. Find out--if you dare! If I
ever see--your double--dogging me again, I’ll turn round in the streets
and knock her down. Do you understand?”
“I hear--and I’m very sorry for the poor thing. I can only hope that
she won’t cross your path, but--it’s nothing to me. Is it?”
He was out of the room, out of the flat before her lips closed after
the mocking words. She fell back, shaking with degradation. She knew
perfectly well that he would not return that night. She might drop her
mask, spread the accusing violet gown on the bed, plant her dusty shoes
in the middle of the room. She might cry her fill--but where was the
good of that? Tears were bad diplomacy at the best of times. She was
worn out enough by the burning shame of the glib lies she had been
reeling off.
He would not come back that night. He had returned to--_her_--the brown
person. Perhaps she had been waiting outside all the time. She got up,
ran into the other room, began to feverishly unfasten her gown with one
hand, while with the other she flung back the door of the wardrobe. She
would follow them. If he saw her, knocked her down--so well! She would
follow them--to the very door. Then she dropt down on the bed,
shaking her head mournfully, twisting her hands. She wouldn’t
follow--all motive for following was gone. She had been waiting,
watching all these degrading weeks for the advent of a woman. The woman
had come. She had believed that she would bring freedom in her hands.
But she hadn’t; no woman ever would. It needed a subtler force to kill
her love for that villain. She didn’t even feel jealous because he had
gone away with her rival. She was contemptuous of him because her rival
was so uninteresting--that was about all. Her strongest feeling was one
of being stunned--as if he had struck her on the head, instead of on
the breast. She didn’t mind much. She was relieved, immensely relieved,
that it was no longer necessary to watch--to crawl stealthily about the
streets like an unclean animal of prey. She only hoped that he would
come back in the morning--and in a good temper. One must learn to wink
at things.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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