“I don’t feel--for him,” she went on with more passion, “the ordinary
pity and sadness that one feels for any dead thing. I can’t--for him.
There’s no dignity, no pathos in Death when it touches him. You mustn’t
think me hard; mustn’t put this down to vengeance because he injured
me. I can still feel pity. I cried only this morning over a tomtit
which the cat had mangled. But I don’t cry for this. I don’t feel. I’m
stone where he is concerned. Until to-night I have been wax. I’m not
sorry or shocked; not anything womanly, anything human that I ought to
be. I can’t feel. I’m free. Take me away. We’ll get warm in the house.”
They stepped out into the driving snow. The world was white and
pitiless that night.
The door thudded solemnly when Jethro pulled it to. He had his arm
round Pamela, his coat held out to form a screen for her. Midway to the
house she stopped, the blinding, desolate snow whirling above their
heads. She looked up and he looked down. There was a strange fire in
each pair of eyes. Suddenly he stooped and kissed her on the
mouth--roughly, brutally.
Her mouth smarted with the rudeness of that kiss, but a sweet,
permanent content ran through her body. He loved her! She would be
Cousin Pamela no more, save in the tender jest of matrimony. He had
always loved her. His reserve, his brotherly attitude, had been forced.
They were part of his prudent nature, part of his hereditary economy.
He would never expend when there was small chance of any result.
The house was warm--a gently filtering warmth that seemed to wrap them
directly they shut the door.
The discreet clink of china, the savory smell of soup, came from the
kitchen. They were preparing dinner--the place was wholly regardless of
that miserable dead man.
They shut themselves in the drawing-room. Pamela abandoned herself to
the luxury of the fire. Jethro paced about nervously, his ears alert
for wheels.
“Egbert can do nothing,” he said. “The poor chap was dead when I found
him--dead and stiff. He must have been in the pond some time. If I
hadn’t found him to-night the ice would have pinned him in by
to-morrow. We should have been obliged to cut him out. I can’t think
how he got in. It isn’t dark: he never drank--too much. His head was
strong. He could stand a lot of whisky. We don’t know----”
“We shall never know,” she said with the oddest lethargy.
All the time he walked about the room, indulging as he did so in kind
commonplace reflections concerning Edred, she was saying to
herself--lilting the words to a queer dancing air that hummed in her
head:
“Free, free, free.”
She tried herself, probed herself, insisted on proving. She recalled
all sorts of things--her happiest, tenderest moments with the dead man.
She felt nothing at all, except faint disgust for the woman--it could
not have been herself--who had so madly loved that creature who was
lying in the barn searching the roof with his fixed, shallow eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account