These were days of dreary gloom which they spent together; Frank too
dejected to go out of doors, Bertie creeping about very softly under the
pressure of a vague dread and indefinable dissatisfaction. He felt
Frank's friendship reviving, and, flattered by this revival, was
conscious of a sentiment of pity, almost of sympathy; he tried to rouse
Frank from his moodiness, and talked of a supper party--with ladies--on
the old pattern. He made plans for going away, here or there, for a few
days. He tried to persuade Westhove to take to work, mentioning the
names of various great engineers who were to be found in London. But
everything fell dead against Frank's obdurate melancholy, everything was
swallowed up in the dark cloud of his dejection, which seemed incapable
of more than one idea--one self-reproach, one grief. And the only solace
of his life was always to have Bertie at his side; a closer intimacy to
which Van Maeren himself was no less prompted, now that he had gained
his selfish ends, having no further fear of impending poverty, and
seeing always by him a consuming sorrow. Had he not rejected the notion
that he had been the cause of it all? And had he not, during his late
existence as an idle bachelor, become so super-fine a being that he felt
a craving for the vague delights of sympathy; nothing more than
sympathy, since no great and noble love, no strong and generous
friendship could breathe in the complicated recesses of his soul, for
lack of room and fresh air in those narrow cells built up on strange
fallacies, and since love and friendship must pine and die there, like a
lion in a boudoir.
Thus it was that he could still feel for Frank, could lay his hands on
his shoulders and try to comfort him, could find words of affection--new
on his lips--and unwonted phrases of consolation or cheering. Women, he
would say, were so narrow-minded; they were nothing, they loved nothing,
they were a mere delusion; no man should ever make himself miserable for
a woman. There was nothing like friendship, which women could not even
understand, and never felt for each other; a passion of sympathy, the
noble joy of affinity and agreement. And he believed what he said,
sunning himself in Platonism with cat-like complacency, just as he
basked in material ease and comfort, rejoicing in his raptures of
friendship, and admiring himself for his lofty ideals.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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