Even Bertie found himself breathing this strange, stagnant air. He
wondered greatly what could have occurred. How simply, how easily,
things had worked themselves out! He? No, he had done nothing; he could
have done nothing. Events had merely followed each other. What had come
about was the inevitable. And the possibility of a life free from care
again lay before him; an eternity of comfort and wealth with Westhove,
for whom he felt his old affection revive with the glow almost of a
passion, now that Frank, severed from Eva, though blaming himself
indeed, needed consolation and sympathy. And Bertie's low, unctuous
tones were full of sympathy. Oh, the dark melancholy of the first few
days, the terrible grief of wondering, when now, his indignation cold,
Frank asked himself, as Eva had asked herself, Why? Why, had this
happened? What had he done? What had brought it about? And he could not
see, could not understand; it was like a book out of which leaves have
been torn so as to spoil the sense. He could comprehend neither himself
and his fury, nor Eva and her doubts. All life seemed to him a riddle.
For hours together he would sit gazing out of the window, staring at the
opaque dulness of the London fog, his eye fixed on that riddle. He
rarely went out, but sat dreaming in White-Rose Cottage, which was
lonely and quiet enough in its remote suburb. An enervating indifference
possessed his stalwart frame; for the first time in his life he saw
himself in a true light, and detected the vacillation and weakness deep
down in his being, like a lymphatic stream traversing his sanguine
physical vigour. He saw himself, as a mere child in resistance to the
storm of rage, the blast of fury which had swept away his happiness.
And his suffering was so terrible that he could not entirely comprehend
it; it seemed too all-embracing for the human mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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