Westhove said nothing, torn in his mind between two impulses. He was no
longer clear as to his purpose, quite bewildered by the false voice in
his ear--in his soul. There was something factitious in Bertie's speech,
a false ring which Frank could not detect, though he was conscious of
it; and the voice of his own desires rang false too, with jarring,
unresolved chords, which jangled inharmoniously against each other. He
had completely lost his head, but he sat silent for some time, till at
length he repeated, with sullen obstinacy:
"All right. I do not care a pin. I shall go all the same."
But Bertie began again, with honeyed smoothness this time, seating
himself on the floor, as was his wont when he was out of luck, on the
fur rug before the fire, resting his throbbing head against a chair.
"Come, Frank, get this out of your mind. You never meant that you would
really go. You are at heart too proud and too brave to think of it
seriously. Pull yourself together. Have you forgotten everything? Did
not Eva tell you that she did not believe your word, that you were false
to her, that you still were friends with that other girl, and that she
knew it? To tell you the truth, I observed from the first how suspicious
she was, and I did not think it becoming in a young lady; I did not
think it quite--quite nice.... To be sure, that evening at the Lyceum,
it did look as if there was something in it. Still, when you assured her
that it was at an end, it seems to me quite monstrous that she did not
believe you then. You cannot possibly mean what you say when you speak
of seeking her again. Of course it makes no difference to me; go by all
means, for what I care; but I should regard it as such folly, such utter
folly--"
And still Frank sat speechless, lost, with the bewildering jangle still
in his brain.
"And you will take the same view of it if you only think it over. Think
it over, Frank."
"I will," said Frank, gloomily.
Bertie went on, flattering his manly courage, and it sounded like bells
in Frank's ears: pride, pluck; pride, pluck: only the bells were
cracked. And yet the jingle soothed him. Did he at this moment love Eva?
Or was it all over, had she killed his love by her doubt? Pride, pluck;
pride, pluck. He could not tell--alas! he could not tell.
With a movement like a caress, Bertie crept nearer, laid his head on the
arm of Westhove's chair, and clasped his hands about his knees, looking,
in the dusk and firelight, like a supple panther; and his eyes gleamed
like a panther's, black and flame-coloured.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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