"Yes, if you will have it, Yes, yes, yes," he hissed it hard. "If you
don't understand, if you are too idiotic to take it in--Yes, I say. Yes,
yes, yes. I bribed him with your money, that you were so kind as to give
me the very last day when we were leaving London. You gave me a hundred
pounds, to pay William--do you remember? To pay William!--You do not
understand?--Well--You don't understand! You are a stupid brute without
brains. Ay, and I envy you for having none. There was a time when I had
none; and do you know how I came by them? Why, through you. There was a
time when I toiled and worked, and never thought and never cared. I ate
all I earned and when I earned nothing I went hungry. And I was happy!
It was you--you who fed me on dainties, and gave me wine to drink; and
it was you who clothed me, so that I had not to work, but had nothing to
do but to think, think, in my contemptible idleness all day long. And
now I only wish I could crack my skull open and throw my brains in your
face for having made me what I am, so finikin and full of ideas! You
don't understand? Then perhaps you will not understand that at this
moment I feel no gratitude for all you have done for me--that I hate you
for it all, that I despise you, and that you have made my life
infinitely more wretched than I have made yours! Do you understand that
much, at any rate, eh? That I despise you and hate you, hate you?"
He had entrenched himself behind a table, sputtering out this volley of
words in a paroxysm of nervous excitement; he felt as though every fibre
of his frame was ready to crack like an over-strained cord. He had got
behind the table, because Westhove was standing before him, at the other
side now, his eyes staringly white and bloodshot in his purple face;
his nostrils dilated, his shoulders up, his fists clenched, ready, as it
seemed, to spring upon him. Westhove was waiting, as it appeared, till
Van Maeren had spit out in his face all the foul words he could find.
"Yes, I hate you!" Bertie repeated, "I hate you!" He could find nothing
else to say.
Then Frank let himself go. With a bellow like a wild beast, a sound that
had nothing human in it, he sprang over the table, which tilted on its
side, and came down with all the weight of his impetus on Bertie, who
fell under him like a reed, He seized his foe by the throat, dragged him
over the legs of the table, into the middle of the room, dropped him
with a crack on the floor, and fell upon him, with his bony, square knee
on Bertie's chest, and his left hand holding his neck like a vice. And a
hard, dry feeling, like a thirst for sheer brutality, rose to Westhove's
throat; with a dreadful smile on his lips he swallowed two or three
times, fiendishly glad that he had him in his power, in the clutch of
his left hand, under his knee. And he doubled his right fist and raised
it like a hammer, with a tigerish roar.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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