"Because I, perhaps, am different. But I am weak all the same. I am weak
when I am angry. And then--then in my fury, I was utterly, utterly weak.
This is the truth. This is what is crushing me; and, broken as I am, I
cannot be your husband. Oh, what would I not give to have him still
alive! I was fond of him once, and now I could say to him that I do
understand--that I forgive him."
"Frank, do not be so foolish--so foolishly good," she exclaimed.
"Oh, it is not foolish goodness," he said, with a melancholy smile. "It
is philosophy."
"Well, then," she cried, in a hard, rough tone, "I am no philosopher; I
am not foolishly good; I do not forgive him for being a villain, and for
making us miserable. I hate him, hate him, dead as he is. I hate him
for coming between us, and haunting us now that you have killed him, and
for the diabolical influence he still brings to bear on you and on me.
But, I say, I will not have it," she shrieked despairingly, starting to
her feet, but still clinging to him. "I tell you that I will not lose
you for the second time. I swear that if you try to leave me here, I
will stand, holding you fast in my arms, clasping you to me till we both
are dead. For I will not let him part us; I hate him! I am glad you
murdered him, and if he were living now, I would do it myself. I would
kill him, strangle him, strangle him!" She clenched her hands as if she
gripped his throat, and held Frank in her embrace as though he were her
prey.
Out of doors it was growing darker every minute.
He gently released himself, supporting her, indeed, for he felt that she
was tottering in her over-tension of energy and courage. She was staring
out at the weather with her sunken, grey eyes, and she shivered from
head to foot. He led her back to the sofa, made her sit down, and again
knelt before her in more passionate devotion than ever.
"Eva!" he whispered.
"Oh, look at the clouds!" she cried. "It is pouring a deluge."
"Yes," said he. "What does that matter?--I love you."
"I cannot bear up against such weather," she moaned. "It oppresses me
and frightens me--oh, it terrifies me so! Protect me, Frank, shelter me;
come close!"
She drew him to her on the sofa, and, opening his coat, nestled against
him.
"I am so frightened. Hold me tightly--wrap your coat round me. Oh, do
not let it come upon me! Lord have mercy, and do not let it come over
me, again, I beseech Thee!"
It was the visionary thunder she prayed to be spared. And she threw both
arms round her lover, clinging to him as if to hide herself. So she
remained, while he held her close; when, presently, twisting her fingers
into his waistcoat-pocket, she murmured:
"What is this? what have you here?"
"What have you found?" he said, in alarm.
"This, in your waistcoat-pocket?"
"Nothing--a little phial," he muttered. "Some drops for my eyes. I have
been troubled by my eyes lately."
She took out the phial. It was a tiny, dark blue bottle, with a cut
glass stopper and no label.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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