For love and life; vol. 1 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
For love and life; vol. 1 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
Gussy shook her head. “I don’t think he did; but you must remember,” she
said humbly, “that he never was what you might call so very much in love
with me. He liked me; he was even fond of me--but not exactly in love.
It is different--I always felt that, even when you all made so sure. And
what he thinks of me now, I don’t know. If I saw him once, I should be
able to tell you; but I shall try not to see him. It is best I should
not see him,” said Gussy very low, “best in every way.”
“My poor child!” said Ada; but she did not contradict her, as her sister
almost hoped; and Gussy went away immediately after, with her heart
full, to put on her black cloak and close bonnet, and to go forth into
some very unsavoury region indeed, where a serene Sister, so smiling and
cheery that you might be certain her mind was taken up by no possible
happiness, was hard at work. Gussy had some very disagreeable work
allotted to her which gave her full occupation till it was time to
return to “the world,” and as long as she was thus engaged she was able
to forget all about herself and Edgar, and everything else in the other
existence. Thus Rag Fair was good for her, and gave her a certain amount
of strength with which to return to Berkeley Square.
But the reader will perceive that if Edgar’s mind was disturbed by what
he had heard, a similar, if less violent commotion had been raised, by
the mere intimation of his return, in the opposite camp, where every
member of the family instinctively felt the danger, though the young and
the romantic among them welcomed it as rather an advantage than a peril.
Gussy went about her ordinary work, whether in “the world” or out of it,
with a soft perpetual tremor, feeling that at any moment, round any
corner, she might meet him with whom her youthful thoughts had wandered
all these years. I will not say that she was not somewhat anxious and
uncertain as to the effect which this long interval might have had upon
Edgar’s mind; for women seldom have a very strong faith, unassisted by
evidence, in the fidelity of a long absent lover; but she had no sense
of having given love unsought, or shame in her own secret devotion. She
knew that if Edgar had remained rich and prosperous she would have been
his wife long ere now, and this gave to Gussy’s maiden love that sweet
legitimacy and pride of duty which is so much to a woman, and emboldens
her to give without shame, and with all her heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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