For love and life; vol. 1 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
For love and life; vol. 1 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
“You begin to realize me,” said his companion. “I am Tottenham’s. I have
been Tottenham’s all my life. My father died when I was only a small
boy. I hope, though I don’t know, that he might have had sense enough to
habituate me to my fate from the beginning, which would have made it
much easier. But my mother, unfortunately, was a lady, or thought
herself so. She brought me up as if there was not such a thing as a shop
in the world. She buys everything at Howell and James’s of set purpose
and malice prepense, when she could get all she wants at cost price in
our own place; to be sure she can afford it, thanks to the shop. I never
knew anything about this said shop till I was at Eton, when I denied the
connection stoutly, and fought for it, and came off triumphant, though
the other fellow was the biggest. When I went home for the holidays, I
told the story. ‘You were quite right not to give in to it, my dear,’
said my mother. ‘But is it true?’ said I. Poor dear, how she
prevaricated! She would not have told a lie for the world, but a tiny
little bit of a fib did not seem so bad. Accordingly I found it out, and
had to go back to Eton, and beg the fellow’s pardon, and tell him it
wasn’t a lie he told, but the truth, only I had not known it. I don’t
think any of them thought the worse of me for that.”
“I should think not,” cried Edgar, beginning to rouse up.
“No, I don’t suppose they did; but from that day I became thin-skinned,
as people call it, and scented the shop afar off in everything people
said. My mother’s contempt for it, and shame of it, got deep into my
mind. I grew sensitive. I did not like to give my name when I went
anywhere. I felt sure some one would say, ‘Oh, Tottenham’s!’ when my
card was taken in. I can’t tell you the misery this gave me all through
school and college. I hated the shop, and was afraid of it. I was
morbidly ashamed of my name. I went and wandered about in vacation,
wearing other men’s names as I might have borrowed their coats. Not
without their consent, mind you,” he added, sharply. “I did nothing
dishonourable; but I had a horror of being Tottenham, a horror which I
cannot describe.”
“That was strange!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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