For love and life; vol. 2 of 2Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
For love and life; vol. 2 of 2
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
“Mamma, I must speak. It was you who turned my thoughts to him first.
Was it likely that _I_ should forget him because he was in trouble? Why,
_you_ did not! You yourself were fond of him all along, and trusted him
so that you took his pledge to give up his own will to yours. But I
never gave any pledge,” said Gussy, folding her hands. “You never asked
me what I thought, or I should have told you. I have been waiting for
Edgar. He has not dared to come to me since he came back to England,
because of his promise to you; and I have not dared to go to him,
because--simply because I was a woman. But when we met, mamma--when we
_met_, I say--not his seeking or my seeking--by accident, as you call
it----”
“Oh! accident!” cried Lady Augusta, with a sneer, which sat very
strangely upon her kind face. “Accident! One knows how such accidents
come to pass!”
“If you doubt our truth,” cried Gussy, in a little outburst, “of course
there is no more to say.”
“I beg your pardon,” said the mother, faintly. She had put herself in
the wrong. The sneer, the first and only sneer of which poor Lady
Augusta had known herself to be guilty, turned to a weapon against her.
Compunction and shame filled up the last drop of the conflicting
emotions that possessed her. “It is easy for you both to speak,” she
said, “very easy; to you it is nothing but a matter of feeling. You
never ask yourself how it is to be done. You never think of the thousand
difficulties with the world, with your father, with circumstances. What
have I taken the trouble to struggle for? You yourself do me justice,
Gussy! Not because I would not have preferred Edgar--oh! don’t come near
me!” she cried, holding out her hand to keep him back; as he approached
a step at the softening sound of his name--“don’t work upon my feelings!
It is cruel; it is taking a mean advantage. Not because I did not prefer
him--but because life is not a dream, as you think it, not a romance,
nor a poem. What am I to do?” cried Lady Augusta, clasping her hands,
and raising them with unconscious, most natural theatricalness. “What am
I to do? How am I to face your father, your brothers, the world?”
I do not know what the two listeners could have done, after the climax
of this speech, but to put themselves at her feet, with that instinct of
nature in extreme circumstances which the theatre has seized for its
own, and given a partially absurd colour to; but they were saved from
thus committing themselves by the sudden and precipitate entrance of
Lady Mary, who flung the door open, and suddenly rushed among them
without warning or preparation.
“I come to warn you,” she cried, “Augusta!” Then stopped short, seeing
at a glance the state of affairs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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