They had checked their speed to descend the steep ravine cut in the
heart of the mesa, and giving outlet to the blue sea. Raquel was
intent, apparently, on finding the best footing for her horse, and did
not look up at once, but when no reply came she tried to laugh, and
repeated the question.
"I did not answer," said Ana, after a moment, "because, Raquelita, when
you made me think of it, truly it seemed as if my heart stopped beating
that minute. Poor Jose, my husband! It would have gone hard with him,
and my relatives would have cursed me."
"And why?"
"I think I should have risked the purgatory they would have sent me to,
but I would ride as we are riding now, straight to the man--the one
man."
"And suppose--suppose, Anita, you were bound by a vow to the dead--could
you ride away from that? Suppose that so long as you lived you were set
to guard one living soul--that each day when you awoke, your prayers
were to keep worthy for the task; suppose--"
"No, no! I will not suppose. A woman can endure just so much, no more. I
know you are doing all this, my Raquel, and I see that it is forever one
big fight and sacrifice, and all your life it will be the same. But,
Raquel, when you awake and pray each morning, thank the Virgin at the
same time that the other man has not yet ridden into your heart. I know
you do not think of men--that it is to live ever in cloisters! But pray
God that the man may never come, Raquel--for a girl is only a girl,
after all!"
"Of course, but--"
"Oh, you would argue, because you do not know!" burst out Ana, with
impatience. "Raquel, you are so good you are always beautiful; but I
tell you truly, that if it should happen--all the saints could not help
you. Between your vow for the soul of Rafael and your love for the one
man--"
"Well, my Anita?"
"Well, you could not live through it and remain what you are. Any woman
would go mad--any woman."
Raquel touched her horse and galloped up the steep hill ahead of Ana.
Down the longer one to Boca de la Playa she rode in the same reckless
way, and it was not until they had reached El Camino Real that she
pulled her horse in, and allowed Ana to come alongside.
"Jesusita! how you ride away from me!" gasped her friend. "Wait until I
braid up my hair. Look at it--all the new pins lost, the pretty ones you
brought me from Los Angeles. We will send a boy back to hunt them."
Raquel sat silent on her panting horse, looking out on the wide sea and
saying nothing. Ana glanced at her white face while braiding her hair,
and thought it looked cold and determined, almost angry; and as they
started on once more, she reached across and touched her hand.
"Do not make your eyes like cold agates of violet," she entreated.
"Truly, I meant not to anger you, and I know you are good always, and
think only of your vows. But even the saints have known temptation, my
Raquel, and some who might have been saints have lost souls for a man or
a woman."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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