I dropped Mr. Calvin D. Cottle entirely out of my thoughts; but when I
entered the locker room shortly after noon the next day something
reminded me of him. Possibly it was the sound of his voice.
"Boy! Can't we have 'nother toddy here? What's the matter with some
service? How 'bout you, Wes? Oh, I forgot--you never take anything till
after five o 'clock. Think of all the fun you're missing. When I get to
be an old fossil like you maybe I'll do the same. Good rule.... You
gentlemen having anything? No? Kind of careful, ain't you? Safety first,
hey?... Just one toddy, boy, and if that mint ain't fresh, I'll ....
Yep, you're cagey birds, you are, but I give you credit just the same.
And some cash. Don't forget that. Rather have cash than credit any time,
hey? I bet you would! But I don't mind a little thing like that. I'm a
good sport. You ask Wes here if I ain't. If I ain't a good sport I ain't
anything.... Still, I'll be darned if I see how you fellows do it!
You're both old enough to have sons in the Soldiers' Home over yonder,
but you take me out and lick me again--lick me and make me like it! A
couple of dried-up mummies with one foot in the grave, and I'm right in
the prime of life! Only a kid yet! It's humiliating, that's what it is,
humiliating! Forty dollars apiece you're into me--and a flock of golf
balls on the side! Boy! Where's that mint toddy? Let's have a little
service here!"
I peeped through the door leading to the lounging room. The
Dubuque-California foursome was grouped at a table in a corner. The
Ooley-cow looked calm and placid as usual, but his guest was sweating
profusely, and as he talked he mopped his brow with the sleeve of his
shirt. Uncle Billy and Old Man Sprott were listening politely, but the
speculative light in their eyes told me that they were wondering how far
they dared go with this outlander from the Middle West.
"Why," boomed Cottle, "I can hit a ball twice as far as either one of
you! 'Course I don't always know where it's going, but the main thing is
I got the _strength_. I can throw a golf ball farther than you old
fossils can hit one with a wooden club, yet you lick me easy as breaking
sticks. Can't understand it at all.... Twice as strong as you are....
Why, say, I bet I can take one hand and outdrive you! _One hand!_"
"Easy, Calvin," said the Ooley-cow reprovingly. "Don't make wild
statements."
"Well, I'll bet I can do it," repeated Cottle stubbornly. "If a man's
willing to bet his money to back up a wild statement, that shows he's
got the right kind of a heart anyway.
"I ought to be able to stick my left hand in my pocket and go out there
and trim two men of your age. I ought to, and I'll be damned if I don't
think I can!"
"Tut, tut!" warned the Ooley-cow. "That's foolishness."
"Think so?" Cottle dipped his hand into his pocket and brought out a
thick roll of bills. "Well, this stuff here says I can do it--at least I
can _try_--and I ain't afraid to back my judgment."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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