Peter, furiously excited, hurried through the grimy deserts of
Bloomsbury, to Brockett's. To his singing, beating heart the thin ribbon
of the grey street with the faint dim blue of the evening sky was out of
place, ill-judged as a setting to his exultations. He had swept in the
tempestuous way that was natural to him, the shop and all that it had
been to him, behind him. Even Brockett's must go with the rest. Of
course he could not stay there now that the weekly two pounds had
stopped. He quite savagely desired to be free from all business. These
seven years had been well enough as a preparation; now at last he was to
be flung, head foremost, into life.
He could have sung, he could have shouted. He burst through the heavy
doors of Brockett's. But there, inside the quiet and solemn building,
another mood seized him. He crept quietly, on tiptoe, up to his room
because he did not want to see any of them before supper. After all, he
was leaving the best friends that he had ever had, the only home that
he had ever really known. Mrs. Brockett, Norah Monogue, Robin, the
Signor.... Seven years is a long time and one gets fond of a place. He
closed his bedroom door softly behind him. The little room had been very
much to him during all these years, and that view over the London roofs
would never be forgotten by him. But he wondered, as he looked at it,
how he had ever been able to sit there so quietly and write “Reuben
Hallard.” Now, between his writing and himself, a thousand things
were sweeping. Far away he saw it like the height of some inaccessible
hill--his emotions, his adventures, the excitement of life made his
thoughts, his ideas, thinner than smoke. He even, standing there in his
little room and looking over the London roofs, despised the writer's
inaction.... Often again he was to know that rivalry.
A quarter of an hour before supper he went down to say good-bye to Miss
Monogue. She was sitting quietly reading and he thought suddenly, as he
came upon her, there under the light of her candles in the grey room,
that she did not look well. He had never during their seven years'
friendship, noticed anything before, and now he could not have said what
it was that he saw except perhaps that her cheeks were flushed and that
there were heavy dark lines beneath her eyes. But she seemed to him, as
he took her, thus unprepared, with her untidy hair and her white cheap
evening dress that showed her thin fragile arms, to be something that
he was leaving to face the world alone, something very delicate that he
ought not to leave.
Then she looked up and saw him and put her book down and smiled at him
and was the old cheerful Norah Monogue whom he had always known.
He stood with his legs apart facing her and told her:
“I've come to say good-bye.”
“Good-bye?”
“Yes--I'm going to-night. What I've been expecting for so long has
happened at last. There's been a blow up at the bookshop and I've got to
go.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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