“You know we were talking one night and were interrupted--you're in
danger of letting the things you imagine beat the things you know. Stick
to the thing you can grasp, touch--I know the dangers of the others--I
told you that once in Cornwall, I--the most unlikely person in the
world--was caught up by it. I've never laughed at morbidity, or nerves,
or insanity since. There's such a jolly thin wall between the sanest,
most level-headed beef-eating Squire in the country and the maddest poet
in Bedlam. _I_ know--I've been both in the same day. It's better to be
both, I believe, if you can keep one under the other, but you _must_
keep it under--”
Maradick talked on. He saw that the boy's nerves were jumping, that he
was holding himself in with the greatest difficulty.
Peter said: “You don't know, Maradick. I've had to fight all my life--my
father, grandfather, all of them have given in at last--and now this
child ... perhaps I shall see it growing, see him gradually learning
to hate me, see myself hating him ... at last, my God, see him go
under--drink, deviltry--I've fought it--I'm always fighting it--but
to-night--”
“Good heavens, man--you're not going to tell me that your father, your
grandfather--the rest of them--are stronger than you. What about your
soul, your own blessed soul that can't be touched by any living thing or
dead thing either if you stick to it? Why, every man's got power enough
in himself to ride heaven and earth and all eternity if he only believed
he'd got it! Ride your scruples, man--ride 'em, drive 'em--send 'em
scuttling. Believe in yourself and stick to it--Courage!...”
Maradick pulled himself in. They were driving now, down the King's Road.
The people were pouring in a thick, buzzing crowd, out of the Chelsea
Palace. Middle-aged stockbrokers in hansom cabs--talking like the third
act of a problem play!--but Maradick had done his work. As they drove
round the corner, past the mad lady's painted house, he saw that Peter
was calmer. He had regained his self-control. The little house where
Peter lived was very still--the trees in the orchard were stiff and dark
beneath the stars.
Peter spoke in a whisper--“Good-night, Maradick, you've done me a lot of
good--I shan't forget it.”
“Good luck to you,” Maradick whispered back. Peter stole into the house.
The little drawing-room looked very cosy; the fire was burning, the lamp
lighted, the thick curtains drawn. Maria Theresa smiled, with all her
finery, from the wall.
Peter sat down in front of the fire. Maradick was right. One must have
one's hand on the bridle--the Rider on the Lion again. It's better that
the beast under you should be a Lion rather than a Donkey, but let it
once fling you off its back and you're done for. And Maradick had said
these things! Maradick whom once Peter had considered the dullest of
his acquaintances. Well, one never knew about people--most of the
Stay-at-homes were Explorers and vice versa, if one only understood
them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account