“Did you or not?”
“Well, sir, Mrs. Westcott said there was no need. I'm sure I thought--”
“You leave the house now--at once. Go up and pack your things and clear
out. If I see you here in an hour's time the police shall turn you out.”
The woman began to cry. Peter went downstairs. To his own surprise he
found that he could eat and drink. Of so fundamental an importance was
young Stephen in his life that the idea that he could ever lose him
was of an absurd and monstrous incredibility. No, of that there was no
question--but he was conscious nevertheless of the supreme urgency of
the occasion. That young Stephen had ever been delicate or in any way a
weakling was a monstrous suggestion. Always when one thought of him it
was a baby laughing, tumbling--or thoughtfully, with his hand rolled
tightly inside his father's, taking in the world.
Just think of all the tottering creatures who go on and on and snap
their fingers at death. The grotesque old men and women! Or think of
the feeble miserables who never know what a day's health means--crowding
into Davos or shuddering on the Riviera!
And young Stephen, the strongest, most vital thing in the world!
Nevertheless, suddenly, Peter found that he could eat and drink no more.
He put the food aside and went upstairs again.
In the darkened nursery he sat in a chair by the fire and waited for
the hours to pass. The new nurse had arrived and moved quietly about
the room. There was no sound at all save the monotonous whispering
beseeching little cries that came from the bed. One had heard that
concentration of will might do so much in the directing of such a
battle, and surely great love must help. Peter, as he sat in the
half-darkness thought that he had never before realised his love for
the boy--how immense it was--how all-pervading, so that if it were taken
from him life would be instantly broken, without colour, without any
rhythm or force.
As he sat there he thought confusedly of a great number of things of
his own childhood--of his mother--of a boy at Dawson's who had asked him
once as they gazed up at a great mass of apple blossoms in bloom,
“Do you think there is anything in all that stuff about God anyway,
Westcott?”--of a night when he had gone with some loose woman of the
town and of the wet miry street that they had left behind them as
she had closed the door--of that night at the party when he had seen
Cardillac again--of the things that Maradick had said to him that night
when young Stephen was born--and so from that to his own life, his own
birth, his father, Scaw House, the struggle that it had all been.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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