Peter also knew now that Clare was exceedingly uncomfortable in his
presence--it was almost as though she had something to conceal. On
several occasions he had noticed that his sudden entrance into a room
had confused her; once he had caught her hurriedly pushing a letter out
of sight. She was now strangely timid when he was there; sometimes with
a sudden furious beating of the heart he fancied that she was coming
back to him again because she would make little half movements towards
him and then draw back. Once he found her crying.
The impulse to beg her to confide in him was almost stronger than he
could resist, and yet he was terrified lest by some sudden move he
should frighten her and drive her back and so lose the little ground
that he had gained. The strangest thing of all was that Mrs. Rossiter
herself did not know what Clare's trouble was. She, of course, put it
all down to Peter, but she could accuse him of nothing specific. Clare
had not confided in her.
Did Cards know? Peter suddenly asked himself with a strange pang of
jealousy. That he should be jealous of Cards, the most splendid, most
honourable fellow in the world! That, of course, was absurd. And yet
they were together so often, and it was with Jerry Cardillac alone that
Clare seemed now at ease.
But Peter put all such thoughts at once away from him. Had it been any
other man but Cards he might have wondered... but he would trust Cards
alone with his wife in the wilderness and know that no ill could come
of it. With--other women Cards might have few scruples--Peter had heard
such stories--but with Peter's wife, no.
Peter wondered whether perhaps Clare did not miss young Stephen more
than they knew! Oh, if that were the reason how he could take her into
his arms and comfort her and love her! Poor little Clare... the time
would come when she would show him that she wanted him.
Meanwhile the months passed, the proofs of “Mortimer Stant” had been
corrected and the book was about to appear. To Peter now everything
seemed to hang upon this event. It became with him, during the weeks
before its appearance, a monomania. If this book were a success why then
dare and Mrs. Rossiter and all of them would come round to him. It was
the third book which was always so decisive, and there was ground
to recover after the comparative failure of the second novel. As he
corrected the proofs he persuaded himself that “Mortimer Stant” wasn't,
after all, so bad. It had been ambitious of him, of course, to write
about the emotions and experiences of a man of forty and there was
perhaps rather an overloaded and crude attempt at atmosphere, but there
was life in the book. It had, he thought, more swing in the telling of
it than the other two.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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