But, strangely enough, when the black box had been lowered, at the
sharp rattling of the sods upon the lid, his sorrow leapt to his eyes.
Suddenly the sense of his loss drove down upon him. The place, the
people were swept away--he could hear her voice again, see her thin
white hands ... he wanted her so badly ... if he could only have his
chance again ... he could have flung himself there upon the coffin, not
caring whether he lived or died... his whole being, soul and body, ached
for her....
He knew that it was all over; he broke away from them all and he never,
afterwards, could tell where it was that he wandered during the rest
of that day. At last, when it was dark, he crept back to the house,
utterly, absolutely exhausted in every part of his body ... worn out.
III
On the following day Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Agatha departed and took Aunt
Jessie with them. She had the air of being led away into captivity and
seemed to be fastened to the buttons of Uncle Jeremy's tight black suit.
She said nothing further to Peter and showed no sense of having, at any
time, been confidential--she avoided him, he thought.
He of course returned to his office and tried to bury himself in the
work that he found there--but his attention wandered; he was overstrung,
excited abnormally, so that the whole world stood to him as a strange,
unnatural picture, something seen dimly and in exaggerated shapes
through coloured glass. That evening with Stephen shone upon him now
with all the vigour of colour of a real fact in a multitude of vague
shadows. The reality of that night was now of the utmost value.
Meanwhile there were changes at Scaw House. Mrs. Trussit had vanished a
few days after the funeral, no one said anything about her departure and
Peter did not see her go. He was vaguely sorry because she represented
in his memory all the earlier years, and because her absence left the
house even darker and more gloomy than it had been before. The cook,
a stout and slatternly person, given, Peter thought, to excessive
drinking, shared, with a small and noisy maid, the duties of the
house--they were most inefficiently performed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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