England, Northern -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Jews -- Fiction
A flame of resentment was smouldering in Philip. He was searching
round for something to say which would re-establish his self-respect.
Peculiar girl! There was no making her out! What was she doing? She
was holding his hand! What soft fingers she had! She stroked his
wrist, then his forearm. Quaint waves of pleasure went tingling along
his backbone. She was leaning her head on his shoulder. Her lovely
hair was blowing against his cheek, her bosom was pressing warmly
against him.
"Philip!" she said. He made no reply. "Philip!" she repeated. What
was there to say? He liked the feel of her against him, he liked the
eyelashes curling from her eyes. "Say something, Philip!"
"Mamie," he said lamely, "it's awfully nice of you to be so--to be----"
"Hush, Philip, do be quiet!"
They sat thus for some time, Philip's mind drowsing in an unfamiliar
content. They rose at last and separated at the corner of the lane.
When he thought, half an hour later, of the letter which had not been
sent, he murmured, "Oh, it's all right, I'll hear to-morrow! Nothing's
the matter, nothing!" He could feel still the softness of her hair on
his cheek.
Channah's note next day was shorter than the last. She did not mention
her oversight of the previous day. Once more the signature of his
mother lay crooked and inexpressibly precious at the foot of the page.
"I told you so!" said Mamie triumphantly that evening. "_Absolutely_
no need to worry! Hold my arm a wee bit tighter!"
When no letter arrived the following day, it required no great effort
to allay the pangs of unease. "To-morrow!" he said. "It'll be all
right to-morrow! I wish Channah weren't so lazy. Now mother's getting
better there really isn't any excuse...."
Channah's note of the next day was almost curt. "Mother getting on
just the same. Looking forward to your coming back."
But surely there was a change in mother's signature! Oh, surely! He
took his wallet from his pocket and removed the two letters he had
already received. A numbing anxiety gripped him. It was quite
impossible to doubt that the Yiddish letters of the latest signature
were sprawling about weakly, the vertical strokes ending in impotent
scratches. "God!" he exclaimed in sudden fright. "Nothing can be
wrong!" He tried to reassure himself. "She was very tired, that's
what it is! Oh, _she's_ all right! But what if anything were to
happen to her while I'm away! That's absurd! Can't a person make a
few scratches in signing a letter without giving rise to silly
nightmare ideas? I don't know what on earth's wrong with me these last
few days! I wish I hadn't met Mamie! She always seems to be
quarrelling with mother inside me! What on earth is wrong with me!
What have I got to drag Mamie in for! Quarrelling with mother! Isn't
that a stupid thing to say about the poor girl! Poor Mamie! Oh, damn
Mamie!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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