England, Northern -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Jews -- Fiction
There was a value in Philip's friendship Strauss did not recognize so
consciously. It gave him a peculiar satisfaction to observe the
deference that Philip naively paid to his exhibition of nis vanities; a
satisfaction increased by the knowledge that Philip was a "college
lad." It was amusing to gibe at "college lads," to be sure, and one
didn't actually desire to be a "college lad," yet one could not help
vulgarly and secretly envying them.... In any case, it's easy enough
to get rid of a chap when he's outlived his use. Hadn't he already
made that discovery often enough? Time enough for that ... "Come in,
old man, come in! Risk a whiskey and soda?"
The tawdry gaieties Strauss had in his command followed in bewildering
succession. Books seemed to become less and less important as the
furtive weeks passed by. If a memory of his mother came palely before
him, he would the more speedily betake himself to the company of
Wilfrid Strauss. It was difficult to retain those old musics of
Shelley when the brass bellowed windily across the Regent
Roller-Skating Rink, and the girls cackled in your ear. No long time
elapsed before Strauss had made the rounds of the less reputable cafés,
the more shady music halls, and, finally, the Doomington Zoological
Gardens, with their alfresco dancing at the borders of the lake. The
delights of the gardens were only vitiated for Philip by the inexorable
custom which demanded that each male should at rigid intervals kiss his
paramour--"strag" was the recognized term--in the ludicrously
inadequate shelter of a laurel shrub.
There followed more than these. There followed Kate and her lazy eyes
and the yelp of her animal laughter.
"Deeper, deeper, deeper!" became the insistent burden in Philip's
brain. Closer round his feet the mud was gathering. Yet against this
one thing he long managed to stand out, though Strauss would return to
him, rubbing his eyes sleepily, or smacking his lips with luxurious
appreciation. Delicately Strauss would suggest how illogical his
position was, how, seeing it was necessary to take the plunge sooner or
later, why not now, old sport?
Why not? More and more cynical his solitary mind was becoming, ever
the more solitary as Strauss and he were more closely entangled in the
cult of their pleasures. What else did women mean? They would die, he
would die, securely enough all of them, whatsoever happened in the
interspace. Alec's old philosophy was gaining new confirmation. What
inhibitions did Life hold by which a youth should not probe for the
honey of experience, each flower, chaste or poisonous, that opened to
the sun or moon?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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