France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories
Once outside, Muffat began walking at a furious pace. A fresh shower
had just fallen, and he kept slipping on the greasy pavement. When he
looked mechanically up into the sky he saw ragged, soot-colored clouds
scudding in front of the moon. At this hour of the night passers-by
were becoming few and far between in the Boulevard Haussmann. He
skirted the enclosures round the opera house in his search for
darkness, and as he went along he kept mumbling inconsequent phrases.
That girl had been lying. She had invented her story out of sheer
stupidity and cruelty. He ought to have crushed her head when he had it
under his heel. After all was said and done, the business was too
shameful. Never would he see her; never would he touch her again, or if
he did he would be miserably weak. And with that he breathed hard, as
though he were free once more. Oh, that naked, cruel monster, roasting
away like any goose and slavering over everything that he had respected
for forty years back. The moon had come out, and the empty street was
bathed in white light. He felt afraid, and he burst into a great fit of
sobbing, for he had grown suddenly hopeless and maddened as though he
had sunk into a fathomless void.
“My God!” he stuttered out. “It’s finished! There’s nothing left now!”
Along the boulevards belated people were hurrying. He tried hard to be
calm, and as the story told him by that courtesan kept recurring to his
burning consciousness, he wanted to reason the matter out. The countess
was coming up from Mme de Chezelles’s country house tomorrow morning.
Yet nothing, in fact, could have prevented her from returning to Paris
the night before and passing it with that man. He now began recalling
to mind certain details of their stay at Les Fondettes. One evening,
for instance, he had surprised Sabine in the shade of some trees, when
she was so much agitated as to be unable to answer his questions. The
man had been present; why should she not be with him now? The more he
thought about it the more possible the whole story became, and he ended
by thinking it natural and even inevitable. While he was in his shirt
sleeves in the house of a harlot his wife was undressing in her lover’s
room. Nothing could be simpler or more logical! Reasoning in this way,
he forced himself to keep cool. He felt as if there were a great
downward movement in the direction of fleshly madness, a movement
which, as it grew, was overcoming the whole world round about him. Warm
images pursued him in imagination. A naked Nana suddenly evoked a naked
Sabine. At this vision, which seemed to bring them together in
shameless relationship and under the influence of the same lusts, he
literally stumbled, and in the road a cab nearly ran over him. Some
women who had come out of a cafe jostled him amid loud laughter. Then a
fit of weeping once more overcame him, despite all his efforts to the
contrary, and, not wishing to shed tears in the presence of others, he
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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