Four Years in France: or, Narrative of an English Family's Residence there during that Period; Preceded by some Account of the Conversion of the Author to the Catholic FaithBeste, Henry Digby
Religion
Four Years in France: or, Narrative of an English Family's Residence there during that Period; Preceded by some Account of the Conversion of the Author to the Catholic Faith
Beste, Henry Digby
France -- Description and travel
Being somewhat indisposed, I did not stir out on this day. Kenelm had
for some time past complained of languor and want of appetite, which he
attributed to the heat of the summer. At St. Remy he had been in
excellent spirits, passing on before us to hinder us from seeing the
monuments till arrived at the right point of view; and, on the fête of
St. Louis, he had been gay with the gay. No symptom of illness appeared
till the following evening at the house of the general commanding the
department; he then complained to me of a sensation of cold. I desired
him to remove from the open window; he soon felt himself better, and
joined in the dance with which the party concluded. This visit is to be
remarked as the last he made.
During the three following days he was tolerably well, and, on the
alternate days, took his bath in the Rhone, as it had been his custom to
do during the summer, in a retired place at a small distance from the
town. While bathing the last time, he cried out to his brother, "My
pulse is gone." A sensation of cold had induced him to feel his pulse,
and he was somewhat alarmed at this symptom of its intermission. He
appeared to wish to make light of it when he came home, but it must be
supposed that his own feelings made him apprehensive of illness.
Afterwards it became evident that the predisposition to the fever, of
which the chilliness three evenings before had been a symptom, had again
manifested itself by this intermission of the pulse.
He now reposed in me a confidence, the purport of which ought perhaps to
be numbered among the symptoms of the coming malady, though I was as yet
unable to account for it in this way. He said his scruples, such as he
had combated and surmounted three years before, had returned and had
distressed him of late, beginning from a time to which he referred;
since which time, and, as he believed, from the efforts he had made, he
had suffered from a head-ache and pains in his chest and limbs. Not
aware that an illness was at hand which would account for the sensations
of which he complained without reference to any mental uneasiness, I
endeavoured by reproaches and praises to restore his tranquillity. "You
are indebted for your head-ache and other pains to allowing your mind to
dwell on useless and groundless apprehensions. Cheerfulness, hope, and
gaiety are the best things in the world to make the blood circulate and
distribute equally the animal heat. Enough has been said to you on the
subject of scruples, and you have admitted the reasonableness of what
has been said: I had hoped they were gone for ever. You are a great
comfort and blessing to me: be satisfied with yourself. You were at
confession and communion five days ago: has any thing occurred since, on
which you would consult your director?" He replied, "No, nothing." This
we afterwards remembered with great comfort.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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