Four Years in the Underbrush: Adventures as a Working Woman in New YorkAnonymous
History
Four Years in the Underbrush: Adventures as a Working Woman in New York
Anonymous
Women employees -- New York (State) -- New York
“Mr. Freeland? He would have been best man had he received Harris’s note
in time. It was he who discovered Harris—a terrible night last November.
Harris had come up from Texas and was selling papers with his feet
wrapped in an old piece of carpet he had fished out of a garbage-can.”
Just what had become of my sense of humor that night I have never been
able to decide. Certainly it was not with me. Instead of howling with
laughter my brain felt as an egg looks when it is being prepared for
scrambling.
“Did Joe Ellen know him in Texas?” I asked, still feebly keeping to the
details of the affair.
“Exactly three days to the hour—that’s the reason they were married at
eleven o’clock at night—exactly three days to the minute that they first
met each other. Romance! Only a genius with Joe Ellen’s colossal brain
could have thought out such a perfect climax. You won’t mind if I take
your other pillow, will you, dear?”
“Oh, no, certainly not,” I assured her, as I hastily extracted one of
the two minute pillows from behind my back and handed it to her. As she
settled herself, her head at the foot of my bed and her feet in the
comfortably warm spot on which my shoulders had rested previous to her
bursting into my room, I meekly inquired: “Anybody in your room?”
“My burglar,” she answered in the matter-of-fact tone of one agreeing
that two and two make four. “I hadn’t thought of bringing him in until
he noticed that the policeman making his rounds looked at us. He got an
idea that the officer was coming back and tell us to move on just to get
a good look at him. He’s awfully psychic about policemen—says all men
who have served three terms in Sing Sing are. Of course, if it had been
the regular park policeman”—here she yawned and moved her feet nearer my
corner of refuge—“it would have been all right. I’ve helped him take
drunken women to Jefferson Market jail so often that we’ve got to be
real pals.”
She had hardly finished this last sentence when she began to snore, her
buttonhole mouth wide open and her nose startlingly like the beak of a
parrot. Convinced that I would never be able to get back to sleep with
such a noise so near, I slipped out of bed and proceeded to get my
breakfast with a tiny alcohol-lamp.
That was in the midst of one of the severest blizzards ever experienced
in New York City. It was impossible to get coal, and gas-pipes all over
town had frozen and burst. In spite of the warmth of my heavy blanket
bath-robe I was chilled to the bone.
I was sitting on my feet and eating my breakfast—a cup of hot tea
without milk or sugar, and war bread with margarine—when I heard a plank
in the hall outside my door groan. The burglar! Creeping noiselessly to
the door I listened. Some creature was trying to pass without detection
across the carpeted floor of the square hall. A second plank groaned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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