"He will do nothing of the sort. He never loved me, either. It flattered
his self-esteem to make a conquest of me, and that was all. He is one of
the men who think that a woman is too highly favored when they deign to
look at her. Oh! I know him now, I know him too well! I see him now as
he is! Besides, he was not faithful to me, I am sure. How do I know that
it was not he himself who was making love to that actress? Ah! my dear
Charles, how does it happen that a connection so intimate, which is
sometimes based on sincere love, often leaves nothing but regrets and
bitter memories in the heart? After love should come friendship. Should
not that be the natural consequence of the relation lovers have borne to
each other? But, instead of that, they part in anger, and sometimes come
to hate where they have loved so dearly."
"No, Frédérique, no! that does not happen when two hearts have burned
for each other with a sincere passion. The connection may be broken, but
a pleasant remembrance of the happiness they have enjoyed always
remains."
"Do you think so? In that case, I never loved Saint-Bergame. Yes, I am
sure now that I didn't love him; and, more than that--would you like me
to tell you my inmost thoughts? Well! I believe that I have never loved
any man! and I propose to continue on that line; it's much more amusing.
Then one treats men just as they treat us--one drops them as soon as
they cease to be attractive! You won't say that I am right; but in the
bottom of your heart you think so."
"I--I--I am thinking that you are free at this moment----"
"Yes, and I believe I am almost as delighted as I was when I ceased all
relations with Monsieur Dauberny."
"Oh! for all that--before long--another sentiment----"
"We shall see; one can be sure of nothing; but not very soon. No, I am
in no hurry to assume new chains, however light they may be. I believe
that I was born to be independent. It is such fun to do just what you
please! For example: if I had been Saint-Bergame's mistress still, I
couldn't have had you to supper to-night. It would have displeased him;
or else I should have had to conceal it from him; and I don't like
mysteries.--Ha! ha! ha! how poor Brunzbrack is snoring! If that's his
way of making love to a woman----"
"He won't be the man to replace Saint-Bergame, will he?"
"No, indeed! Besides, I don't mean to love any more; I have decided. I
don't feel sure--whether--I am--right; tell me--if I'm--right. It's very
late--isn't it? I must--go to bed. You don't tell me anything; I have to
do all the talking myself."
For several minutes Frédérique had had difficulty in fighting against
the drowsiness that made her eyelids heavy. While she was talking, she
let her head fall on the back of her chair; her eyes closed and still
she talked on. But suddenly she ceased--she had fallen asleep.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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