That was a courteous reply, but nothing more. It seemed as if my fair
partner were distraught. It is never very flattering to one's
self-esteem to have the person to whom one is talking thinking of
something else; and when that person is a woman with whom one is in
love, it is much more mortifying. I was on the point of making a
declaration of love, but it did not pass my lips. Could it be possible
that she was nothing more or less than a coquette who had been amusing
herself at my expense? Nonsense! Had I already forgotten all that she
had done for me that evening? Wounded self-esteem often makes us very
unjust. I determined to wait and not to go so fast, either in forming my
judgments, or in my love.
When the dance came to an end, many of the guests prepared to go away.
Madame Sordeville rejoined her friend, who also seemed disposed to
retire. What was there to detain me there? I had permission to call upon
the charming Armantine, and that was all that I could expect.
I left the restaurant. As I passed the rooms where the Bocal wedding
party was still in full blast, I heard a good deal of noise. Was it
merrymaking or quarrelling? Faith! Balloquet must take care of himself;
and I went home and to bed.
XV
A VAGABOND
On the day following that night which I had so well employed, I did not
wake until after noon. I went over in my mind the events of the
preceding evening. When one has done so much and heard so many
anecdotes, one may be pardoned for being a little confused.
Madame Sordeville's pretty face very soon presented itself to my memory.
Now that I was no longer excited by the illusions of the ballroom and
the strains of the music, I tried to determine what sort of woman she
was, and whether I could reasonably hope for success if I should make
love to her.
She was pretty, well formed, graceful, amiable--yes, and intelligent; at
all events, she possessed that sort of wit that gives sparkle to a
conversation; I could not say as yet whether it had any substantial
foundation. In that respect, women are much more deceitful than men;
they are much more skilful in throwing dust in one's eyes. Too often
the flow of words and bright sallies is only a sort of froth that will
not stand the test of time.
Madame Sordeville was undoubtedly a flirt. It is often said that all
women are; but there are gradations. There are the amiable flirts who
give a pungent flavor to love; there are others who do not give a lover
one moment's peace or rest; and, frankly, a woman who takes pleasure in
tormenting one is a sorry acquaintance. But I had not got to that point;
perhaps the lady in question would never be anything to me, albeit her
husband seemed to be not at all jealous.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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