"Yes, madame. She has lost her child, her little girl, who was her only
joy! It seems to me that that is an additional reason for trying to
lighten her sorrow."
"Oh! most assuredly! It seems, too, that you have done wonders for her,
for she says everything good of you! she extols you to the skies! Never
fear, my friend, she is truly grateful!"
"But that ought not to seem extraordinary to you, who maintain that
ingratitude is the most shocking of vices."
"No, no! I see nothing at all unusual in all that."
"Mon Dieu! Frédérique, you drive me mad! Do you know that, to hear you,
one would think you were unkind and unfeeling, and yet I know that you
are not."
"She is very pretty, that young woman!"
"I told you that before. And because she is pretty--is that a reason for
not doing anything for her?"
"Oh! quite the contrary! That is a reason for being deeply interested in
her, for having her come to work in one's own rooms, and pass her days
there.--Ha! ha! ha! Really, Rosette wasn't so foolish as I: she guessed
the truth at once."
"What do you mean by that, Frédérique?"
"I mean that you love that young woman, that you are in love with her,
that you mean to make her your mistress! Oh! mon Dieu! it's all simple
and natural enough, and I don't blame you. You are free, and so is she;
you are perfectly entitled to--to live with her, if it suits you to do
so! But what I don't like, what pains me, is that you always make a
mystery to me of your sentiments and your intrigues; that I never learn
your secrets except from others; that you haven't confidence enough in
me to tell me of your new amours. That is what angers me. For, you see,
being neither your mistress nor your friend, I am nothing at all to you!
So I cannot see the necessity of continuing our acquaintance."
My heart sank; I felt, not anger, but sorrow, genuine sorrow, to find
that I was unjustly judged by a woman to whom I would have been glad to
lay bare my whole heart, to whom I longed to tell my most secret
thoughts, hoping to read her heart as she would read mine. That reproach
of a lack of confidence in her touched and wounded me; as I was not
guilty, I would not even try to justify myself.
I took my hat and prepared to go.
"Are you going already?" exclaimed Frédérique.
"Yes, madame. I consider it useless to remain longer with a person who
believes neither in my words nor in my affection. I thought that you
were able to judge me fairly, to appreciate my feelings. I was mistaken.
Some day, I doubt not, you will realize your error. Then, madame,
perhaps you will come to me and offer me again that friendship of which
you now think me unworthy; and you will find me, as always, happy to
deserve such a favor."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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