"You are all astray, Frédérique: it was to stay with the woman I love
that I returned to Paris; it was to be with her that I followed you; for
the woman I love--not with friendship, but with love--the most sincere,
the most passionate love--with a love that will end only with my
life--is you--you! Yes! though you banish me from your presence again, I
can no longer content myself with the title of friend, beneath which I
have with difficulty concealed all that I felt for you!"
"He loves me! he loves me!" murmured Frédérique, gazing at me with an
expression of the purest ecstasy in her lovely eyes. Then, giving way to
her emotion, lacking strength to say more, she fell into my arms. I will
not try to describe my bliss. One cannot describe what one feels so
keenly.
When we had recovered the faculty of speech, Frédérique said to me, with
her head resting on my shoulder:
"The least that I can do is to reveal all my secrets to you now; there
must be no more secrets between us. I felt drawn toward you the first
moment that I knew you. There are, I have no question, certain bonds of
sympathy which we cannot understand, but which draw us toward those whom
we are destined to love. But at that time you were engrossed by
Armantine. Remember that I refused to allow you to call on me. I had no
idea that you would fall in love with me, but I felt that your presence
would be dangerous to me. I saw you again at Armantine's, depressed and
disheartened by her coquetry; I determined to console you by offering
you my friendship; I was acting in perfect good faith then, I proposed
to be your friend and nothing more--when that kiss that you gave me
while I was pretending to doze, that kiss which set my whole being on
fire, proved to me that I had other sentiments for you than those of a
friend. But you loved Armantine; I did not choose to be simply a passing
caprice to you, so it was necessary to break off our relations
altogether. And that is what I did, without ceasing for an instant to
think of you. Later, I learned what Monsieur Sordeville was, and I lost
no time in urging you not to go again to his house; you did not follow
my advice, being still in love with Armantine.--Then came the scene on
the Champs-Élysées; I had had nothing to do with bringing it about; but
I am too honest not to confess that her treatment of you gave me some
little hope. We met again, and again I offered you my friendship; but I
had much difficulty in concealing the true state of my heart. Your
liaison with Rosette made me unhappy, but I soon realized that it was
not love. When I saw that other attractive and interesting young woman
in your rooms, fresh torments assailed me, and I was very happy when you
consented to go away from Mignonne. Finally, at Fontenay my secret was
at my tongue's end every day; for I fancied that your eyes expressed
something different from friendship. Then we fell in with Armantine
again, and she recommenced her coquetries with you. Ah! that was too
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