He hardly knew what it was for the saying of which he had so
resolutely come thither. He had by no means made up his mind that he
loved Lucy Robarts; nor had he made up his mind that, loving her, he
would, or that, loving her, he would not, make her his wife. He had
never used his mind in the matter in any way, either for good or
evil. He had learned to like her and to think that she was very
pretty. He had found out that it was very pleasant to talk to her;
whereas, talking to Griselda Grantly, and, indeed, to some other
young ladies of his acquaintance, was often hard work. The half-hours
which he had spent with Lucy had always been satisfactory to him. He
had found himself to be more bright with her than with other people,
and more apt to discuss subjects worth discussing; and thus it had
come about that he thoroughly liked Lucy Robarts. As to whether his
affection was Platonic or anti-Platonic he had never asked himself;
but he had spoken words to her, shortly before that sudden cessation
of their intimacy, which might have been taken as anti-Platonic by
any girl so disposed to regard them. He had not thrown himself at
her feet, and declared himself to be devoured by a consuming passion;
but he had touched her hand as lovers touch those of women whom they
love; he had had his confidences with her, talking to her of his own
mother, of his sister, and of his friends; and he had called her his
own dear friend Lucy.
All this had been very sweet to her, but very poisonous also. She had
declared to herself very frequently that her liking for this young
nobleman was as purely a feeling of mere friendship as was that of
her brother; and she had professed to herself that she would give
the lie to the world’s cold sarcasms on such subjects. But she had
now acknowledged that the sarcasms of the world on that matter,
cold though they may be, are not the less true; and having so
acknowledged, she had resolved that all close alliance between
herself and Lord Lufton must be at an end. She had come to a
conclusion, but he had come to none; and in this frame of mind he
was now there with the object of reopening that dangerous friendship
which she had had the sense to close.
“And so you are going to-morrow?” she said, as soon as they were both
within the drawing-room.
“Yes: I’m off by the early train to-morrow morning, and Heaven knows
when we may meet again.”
“Next winter, shall we not?”
“Yes, for a day or two, I suppose. I do not know whether I shall pass
another winter here. Indeed, one can never say where one will be.”
“No, one can’t; such as you, at least, cannot. I am not of a
migratory tribe myself.”
“I wish you were.”
“I’m not a bit obliged to you. Your nomade life does not agree with
young ladies.”
“I think they are taking to it pretty freely, then. We have
unprotected young women all about the world.”
“And great bores you find them, I suppose?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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