The bishop again rubbed his hands, and said that he was sure she
would. He never felt quite at his ease with Miss Dunstable, as he
rarely could ascertain whether or no she was earnest in what she was
saying. So he trotted off, muttering some excuse as he went, and
Miss Dunstable chuckled with an inward chuckle at his too evident
bewilderment. Miss Dunstable was by nature kind, generous, and
open-hearted; but she was living now very much with people on whom
kindness, generosity, and open-heartedness were thrown away. She
was clever also, and could be sarcastic; and she found that those
qualities told better in the world around her than generosity and an
open heart. And so she went on from month to month, and year to year,
not progressing in a good spirit as she might have done, but still
carrying within her bosom a warm affection for those she could
really love. And she knew that she was hardly living as she should
live,—that the wealth which she affected to despise was eating into
the soundness of her character, not by its splendour, but by the
style of life which it had seemed to produce as a necessity. She knew
that she was gradually becoming irreverent, scornful, and prone to
ridicule; but yet, knowing this and hating it, she hardly knew how to
break from it.
She had seen so much of the blacker side of human nature that
blackness no longer startled her as it should do. She had been the
prize at which so many ruined spendthrifts had aimed; so many pirates
had endeavoured to run her down while sailing in the open waters of
life, that she had ceased to regard such attempts on her money-bags
as unmanly or over-covetous. She was content to fight her own battle
with her own weapons, feeling secure in her own strength of purpose
and strength of wit.
Some few friends she had whom she really loved,—among whom her inner
self could come out and speak boldly what it had to say with its own
true voice. And the woman who thus so spoke was very different from
that Miss Dunstable whom Mrs. Proudie courted, and the Duke of Omnium
fêted, and Mrs. Harold Smith claimed as her bosom friend. If only she
could find among such one special companion on whom her heart might
rest, who would help her to bear the heavy burdens of her world!
But where was she to find such a friend?—she with her keen wit,
her untold money, and loud laughing voice. Everything about her was
calculated to attract those whom she could not value, and to scare
from her the sort of friend to whom she would fain have linked her
lot.
And then she met Mrs. Harold Smith, who had taken Mrs. Proudie’s
noble suite of rooms in her tour for the evening, and was devoting
to them a period of twenty minutes. “And so I may congratulate you,”
Miss Dunstable said eagerly to her friend.
“No, in mercy’s name do no such thing, or you may too probably have
to uncongratulate me again; and that will be so unpleasant.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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