“Why? Can you ask? Think what it would have been to go down to
Framley Court, and to tell her ladyship in the course of conversation
that I was engaged to her son. Think of Lady Lufton. But yet it was
not that, Fanny. Had I thought that it was good for him, that he
would not have repented, I would have braved anything—for his sake.
Even your frown, for you would have frowned. You would have thought
it sacrilege for me to marry Lord Lufton! You know you would.”
Mrs. Robarts hardly knew how to say what she thought, or indeed what
she ought to think. It was a matter on which much meditation would be
required before she could give advice, and there was Lucy expecting
counsel from her at that very moment. If Lord Lufton really loved
Lucy Robarts, and was loved by Lucy Robarts, why should not they two
become man and wife? And yet she did feel that it would be—perhaps
not sacrilege, as Lucy had said, but something almost as troublesome.
What would Lady Lufton say, or think, or feel? What would she say,
and think, and feel as to that parsonage from which so deadly a blow
would fall upon her? Would she not accuse the vicar and the vicar’s
wife of the blackest ingratitude? Would life be endurable at Framley
under such circumstances as those?
“What you tell me so surprises me, that I hardly as yet know how to
speak about it,” said Mrs. Robarts.
“It was amazing, was it not? He must have been insane at the time;
there can be no other excuse made for him. I wonder whether there is
anything of that sort in the family?”
“What; madness?” said Mrs. Robarts, quite in earnest.
“Well, don’t you think he must have been mad when such an idea as
that came into his head? But you don’t believe it; I can see that.
And yet it is as true as heaven. Standing exactly here, on this spot,
he said that he would persevere till I accepted his love. I wonder
what made me specially observe that both his feet were within the
lines of that division.”
“And you would not accept his love?”
“No; I would have nothing to say to it. Look you, I stood here, and
putting my hand upon my heart,—for he bade me to do that,—I said
that I could not love him.”
“And what then?”
“He went away,—with a look as though he were heart-broken. He crept
away slowly, saying that he was the most wretched soul alive. For a
minute I believed him, and could almost have called him back. But,
no, Fanny; do not think that I am over proud, or conceited about my
conquest. He had not reached the gate before he was thanking God for
his escape.”
“That I do not believe.”
“But I do; and I thought of Lady Lufton too. How could I bear that
she should scorn me, and accuse me of stealing her son’s heart? I
know that it is better as it is; but tell me—is a falsehood always
wrong, or can it be possible that the end should justify the means?
Ought I to have told him the truth, and to have let him know that I
could almost kiss the ground on which he stood?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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