“You know that the duke won’t see you on a matter of this kind. He
never speaks to anyone about money; you know that as well as I do.”
“By ——, but he shall speak to me. Never speak to anyone about
money! Why is he ashamed to speak of it when he loves it so dearly?
He shall see me.”
“I have nothing further to say, Sowerby. Of course I shan’t ask his
grace to see you; and if you force your way in on him you know what
will happen. It won’t be my doing if he is set against you. Nothing
that you say to me in that way,—nothing that anybody ever
says,—goes beyond myself.”
“I shall manage the matter through my own lawyer,” said Sowerby; and
then he took his hat, and, without uttering another word, left the
room.
We know not what may be the nature of that eternal punishment to
which those will be doomed who shall be judged to have been evil at
the last; but methinks that no more terrible torment can be devised
than the memory of self-imposed ruin. What wretchedness can exceed
that of remembering from day to day that the race has been all run,
and has been altogether lost; that the last chance has gone, and has
gone in vain; that the end has come, and with it disgrace, contempt,
and self-scorn—disgrace that never can be redeemed, contempt that
never can be removed, and self-scorn that will eat into one’s vitals
for ever?
Mr. Sowerby was now fifty; he had enjoyed his chances in life; and as
he walked back, up South Audley Street, he could not but think of the
uses he had made of them. He had fallen into the possession of a fine
property on the attainment of his manhood; he had been endowed with
more than average gifts of intellect; never-failing health had been
given to him, and a vision fairly clear in discerning good from evil;
and now to what a pass had he brought himself!
And that man Fothergill had put all this before him in so terribly
clear a light! Now that the day for his final demolishment had
arrived, the necessity that he should be demolished—finished away at
once, out of sight and out of mind—had not been softened, or, as it
were, half hidden, by any ambiguous phrase. “You have had your cake,
and eaten it—eaten it greedily. Is not that sufficient for you?
Would you eat your cake twice? Would you have a succession of cakes?
No, my friend; there is no succession of these cakes for those who
eat them greedily. Your proposition is not a fair one, and we who
have the whip-hand of you will not listen to it. Be good enough to
vanish. Permit yourself to be swept quietly into the dunghill. All
that there was about you of value has departed from you; and allow me
to say that you are now—rubbish.” And then the ruthless besom comes
with irresistible rush, and the rubbish is swept into the pit, there
to be hidden for ever from the sight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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