“But why won’t you make it a double wedding? I do not understand——”
“When the boys were here in Baltimore I talked the matter over with
Bart. He almost insisted that I should set a date. He wanted us to get
together and agree on a date. I said no.”
“But why—why? I can’t understand why!”
“Don’t fancy for a moment, Inza, that you love Frank more than I love
Bart. It is not that my feelings have changed, but I have been ill
and——”
“You are much better now. At times you are quite strong for a little
while. Why, you attended the lacrosse game with me.”
“And was ill for two days after. I tried not to let you know how ill I
was. I did not wish you to think me spleeny, Inza.”
Inza laughed musically.
“I know you too well to think anything like that,” she said. “I have
known you to endure too much. Oh, no, no, no! you are not spleeny!
Anything but that!”
“I never knew my mother to remember her well,” said Elsie. “My father
told me lots about her. My mother was for many years a semi-invalid.
If she seemed pretty well for a day or two, she was ill for weeks
after. Father adored her. He told me that never was there a sweeter or
more patient woman. He told me I was like her as he knew her when they
first met. Even as a little girl I bore a remarkable resemblance to my
mother. One old-fashioned picture of her was precisely like a picture
I had taken, with the exception that there was a difference in our
dresses and the way our hair was arranged. Father often said it was his
prayer that I always remained well and strong.
“In every other way save in health he hoped I would exactly resemble
my mother. I’ve meditated often on his words. I used to fear that some
time I would become an invalid, the same as mother. That fear has grown
upon me. It has taken a firm hold of me, and I cannot shake it off.
Something seems to tell me that I shall never be wholly well and strong
after this. A young man burdened with an invalid for a wife has a
millstone about his neck, continually dragging him down. If he is a man
of ambition and ability his life may be ruined. He can never rise as he
would if he had a wife to cheer, encourage, and stimulate him to his
best efforts. I believe Bart was meant by fate to become a great man.
As his wife, if I were an invalid, I should hold him down. Therefore,
Inza, I have resolved not to marry him—now.”
Elsie had spoken earnestly, sincerely, from the bottom of her heart.
She meant the words she uttered. There was no shamming about it; she
was not posing. She really feared she would become an incumbrance upon
Bart Hodge, and, for that reason and that alone, she was not ready to
marry him. On her part it indicated a most remarkable attitude and
most astonishing self-sacrifice. Few girls, loving a man as she loved
Hodge, would have paused to consider—would have firmly held the cup of
happiness back—out of consideration for his future.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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