"I have come," said the god, "to welcome you into my dominions, and to present my wife and child." The captain bowed. "Allow me to ask after my brother and liege sovereign, the good old King George." "He is not so well," said the captain, "as I and all his subjects could wish." "More's the pity," replied Neptune; "and how is the Prince of Wales?" "The Prince is well," said the captain, "and now governs as regent in the name of his royal father." "And how does he get on with his wife?" said the inquisitive god. "Bad enough," said the captain; "they agree together like a whale and a thrasher." "Ah! I thought so," said the god of the sea. "His royal highness should take a leaf out of my book: never allow it to be doubtful who is commanding officer." "And pray what might your majesty's specific be, to cure a bad wife?" said the captain. "Three feet of the cross-jack brace every morning before breakfast, for a quarter of an hour, and half an hour on a Sunday." "But why more on a Sunday than any other day?" said the captain. "Why?" said Neptune. "Why, because she'd been keeping Saturday night, to be sure; besides, she has less to do of a Sunday, and more time to think of her sins, and do penance." "But you would not have a prince strike a lady, surely?" "Wouldn't I? No, to be sure, if she behave herself as _sich_, on no account; but if she gives tongue, and won't keep sober, I'd sarve her as I do Amphy--don't I, Amphy?" chucking the goddess under the chin. "We have no bad wives in the bottom of the sea: and so if you don't know how to keep 'em in order, send them to us." "But your majesty's remedy is violent; we should have a rebellion in England, if the king was to beat his wife." "Make the lords in waiting do it, then," said the surly god; "and if they are too lazy, which I dare say they are, send for a boatswain's mate from the Royal Billy--he'd sarve her out, I warrant you, and for half a gallon of rum would teach the yeomen of the guard to dance the binnacle hornpipe into the bargain." "His royal highness shall certainly hear your advice, Mr Neptune; but whether he will follow it or not, is not for me to say. Would you please to drink his royal highness's good health?" "With all my heart, sir; I was always loyal to my king, and ready to drink his health, and to fight for him." The captain presented the god with a bumper of Madeira, and another to the goddess. "Here's a good health and a long life to our gracious king and all the royal family. The roads are unkimmon dusty, and we hav'n't wet our lips since we left St. Thomas on the line, this morning. But we have no time to lose, captain," said the sea god; "I see many new faces here, as requires washing and shaving; and if we add bleeding and physic, they will be all the better for it."