On my own name being called, I felt a flutter about the heart which I did not feel in action, or in the hurricane, or when, in a case more desperate than either, I jumped overboard at Spithead, to swim to my dear Eugenia. "Powers of Impudence, as well as Algebra," said I, "lend me your aid, or I am undone." In a moment the cabin door flew open, the sentinel closed it after me, and I found myself in the presence of this most awful triumvirate. I felt very like Daniel in the lion's den. I was desired to take a chair, and a short discussion ensued between the judges, which I neither heard nor wished to hear: but while it lasted I had time to survey my antagonists from head to foot. I encouraged myself to think that I was equal to one of them; and if I could only neutralise him, I thought I should very easily floor the other two. One of these officers had a face like a painted pumpkin; and his hand, as it lay on the table, looked more like the fin of a turtle; the nails were bitten so close off, that the very remains of them seemed to have retreated into the flesh, for fear of further depredation, which the other hand was at the moment suffering. Thinks I to myself, "If ever I saw `lodgings to let, unfurnished,' it is in that cocoa-nut, or pumpkin, or gourd of yours." The next captain to him was a little, thin, dark, dried-up, shrivelled fellow, with keen eyes, and a sharp nose. The midshipmen called him, "Old Chili Vinegar," or, "Old Hot and Sour." He was what we term a martinet. He would keep a man two months on his black list, giving him a breech of a gun to polish and keep bright, never allowing him time to mend his clothes, or keep himself clean, while he was cleaning that which, for all the purposes of war, had better have been black. He seldom flogged a man; but he tormented him into sullen discontent, by what he called "keeping the devil out of his mind." This little nightmare, who looked like a dried eel-skin, I soon found was the leader of the band. The third captain was a tall, well-looking, pompous man (he was the junior officer of the three), with commanding and most unbending countenance: "He would not ope his mouth in way of smile, though Nestor swore the jest was laughable." I had just time to finish my survey, and form a rough estimate of the qualities of my examiners, when I was put upon my trial, by the president, who thus addressed me:-- "You are perfect in the theory of navigation, I presume, sir, or you would not come here?" I replied, that I hoped I should be found so, if they would please to try me. "Ready enough with his answer," said the tall captain; "I dare say this fellow is jaw-master general in the cockpit.--Whom did you serve your time with, sir?" I stated the different captains I had served with, particularly Lord Edward. "Oh, ay, thats enough; you _must_ be a smart fellow, if you have served with Lord Edward."