'They don't mean London; they mean science,' said Franklin, smiling back
at her. She always made him feel happy for himself, and at ease, even
when he was feeling unhappy for her; and just now he was feeling
strangely, deeply unhappy for her. It wasn't humility, in the usual
sense, that showed his coming offer to him as so inadequate; he did not
think of himself as unworthy; but he did think of himself as
incongruous; and that this fine, sad, subtle creature should be brought,
from merely reasonable motives, to taking the incongruous intimately
into her life made him more unhappy for her than usual. He wished he
wasn't so incongruous; he wished he had something besides friendship and
millions; he wished, almost, that his case was hopeless and that
friendship and millions would not gain her. Yet, under these wishes,
which made his face look tired and jaded, was another feeling; it was
too selfless to be called a wish; rather it was a wonder, deep and
melancholy, as to what was being done to him, and what would be done, as
an end of it all. That something had been done he knew; it was because
of Helen--that was one thing at last seen clearly--that he had not, long
ago, left London.
'Science is perfectly impersonal, perfectly cosmopolitan, you know,' he
went on. 'Now you are intensely personal and intensely local.'
'I don't think of myself as London, then, if I'm local,' said Helen, her
eyes on the fire. 'I think of myself as Scotland, in the moorlands, on a
bleak, grey day, when the heather is over and there's a touch of winter
in the wind. You don't know the real me.'
'I'd like to,' said Franklin, quietly and unemphatically.
They sat for a little while in silence, and Helen, so unconscious of
what was approaching her, seemed in no haste to break it. She was
capable of sitting thus in silent musing, her cheek on her hand, her
eyes on the fire, for half an hour with Mr. Kane beside her.
Franklin was reflecting. It wouldn't do to put it to her as her need; it
must be put to her as his; as his reasonable need for the castle, the
princess, the charming wife, the home, and children. And it must be that
need only, the need of the dry, matter-of-fact friend who could give her
a little and to whom she could give much. To hint at other needs--if
other needs there were--would not be in keeping with the spirit of the
transaction, and would, no doubt, endanger it. He well remembered old
Miss Buchanan's hint; it was as a husband that Helen might contemplate
him, not as a lover. 'Miss Buchanan,' he said at last, 'you don't
consider that love, romantic love, is necessary in marriage, do you?
I've gathered more than once from remarks of yours that that point of
view is rather childish to you.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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