Franklin kept his eyes on her as she spoke, and though she did not meet
them, her far gaze, fixed ahead, seemed in its impersonal gravity to
commune with him, for his consolation, more than an answering glance
would have done. She was giving him her word for something, and the very
fact that she kept it impersonal, held it there before them both, made
it more weighty and more final. Franklin evidently found it so. He
presently heaved a sigh in which relief was mingled with
acceptance--acceptance of the fact that, from her, he must expect no
further relief. And presently, as they came out upon the winding road,
he said: 'Thanks, that's very helpful.'
They walked on then in silence. The sun was gone and the wind blew
softly; the freshness of the coming rain was in the air. Helen lifted
her face to them as the first slow drops began to fall. In her heart,
too, the fierceness of her pain was overcast. Something infinitely sad,
yet infinitely peaceful, stilled her pulses. Infinitely sad, yet
infinitely funny too. How small, how insignificant, this tangle of the
whole-hearted and the half-hearted; what did it all come to, and how
feel suffering as tragic when farce grimaced so close beside it? Who
could take it seriously when, in life, the whole-hearted were so
deceived and based their loves on such illusion? To feel the irony was
to acquiesce, perhaps, and acquiescence, even if only momentary, like
the lull and softness in nature, was better than the beating fierceness
of rebellion. Everything was over. And here beside her went the dear
ungainly dog. She turned her head and smiled at him, the raindrops on
her lashes.
'You don't mind the rain, Miss Buchanan?' said Franklin, who had looked
anxiously at the weather, and probably felt himself responsible for not
producing an umbrella for a lady's need.
'I like it.' She continued to smile at him.
'Miss Buchanan,' said Franklin, looking at her earnestly and not smiling
back, 'I want to say something. I've seemed egotistic and I've been
egotistic. I've talked only about my own troubles; but I don't believe
you wanted to talk about yours, did you?' Helen, smiling, slightly
shook her head. 'And at the same time you've not minded my knowing that
you have troubles to bear.' Again she shook her head. 'Well, that's what
I thought; that's all right, then. What I wanted to say was that if ever
I can help you in any way--if ever I can be of any use--will you please
remember that I'm your friend.'
Helen, still looking at him, said nothing for some moments. And now,
once more, a slight colour rose in her cheeks. 'I can't imagine why you
should be my friend,' she said. 'I feel that I know a great deal about
you; but you know nothing about me, and please believe me when I say
that there's very little to know.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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