And this mode, which I at first put on with some violence to natural inclination, became at length so easy and so habitual to me, that perhaps for these fifty years past no one has ever heard a dogmatical expression escape me. And to this habit (after my character of integrity) I think it principally owing that I had early so much weight with my fellow-citizens when I proposed new institutions, or alterations in the old, and so much influence in public councils when I became a member; for I was but a bad speaker, never eloquent, subject to much hesitation in my choice of words, hardly correct in language, and yet I generally carried my points. In reality there is, perhaps, no one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself. You will see it, perhaps, often in this history; for, even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.[115] ["I AM NOW ABOUT TO WRITE AT HOME, AUGUST, 1788, BUT CANNOT HAVE THE HELP EXPECTED FROM MY PAPERS, MANY OF THEM BEING LOST IN THE WAR.[116] I HAVE, HOWEVER, FOUND THE FOLLOWING."] Having mentioned a great and extensive project which I had conceived, it seems proper that some account should be here given of that project and its object. Its first rise in my mind appears in the following little paper, accidentally preserved: _Observations on my Reading History, in Library, May 19, 1731._ "That the great affairs of the world,--the wars, revolutions, etc.,--are carried on and effected by parties. "That the view of these parties is their present general interest, or what they take to be such. "That the different views of these different parties occasion all confusion. "That while a party is carrying on a general design, each man has his particular private interest in view. "That as soon as a party has gained its general point, each member becomes intent upon his particular interest; which, thwarting others, breaks that party into divisions, and occasions more confusion. "That few in public affairs act from a mere view of the good of their country, whatever they may pretend; and though their actings bring real good to their country, yet men primarily consider that their own and their country's interest is united, and do not act from a principle of benevolence. "That fewer still, in public affairs, act with a view to the good of mankind.