England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Upper class families -- England -- Fiction
“My darling!” said Cecilia, “what is it?”
Thyme's answer was inarticulate.
Cecilia sat down on the bed and waited, drawing her fingers through
the girl's hair, which had fallen loose; and while she sat there she
experienced all that sore, strange feeling--as of being skinned--which
comes to one who watches the emotion of someone near and dear without
knowing the exact cause.
'This is dreadful,' she thought. 'What am I to do?'
To see one's child cry was bad enough, but to see her cry when that
child's whole creed of honour and conduct for years past had precluded
this relief as unfeminine, was worse than disconcerting.
Thyme raised herself on her elbow, turning her face carefully away.
“I don't know what's the matter with me,” she said, choking. “It's--it's
purely physical.”
“Yes, darling,” murmured Cecilia; “I know.”
“Oh, Mother!” said Thyme suddenly, “it looked so tiny.”
“Yes, yes, my sweet.”
Thyme faced round; there was a sort of passion in her darkened eyes,
rimmed pink with grief, and in all her gushed, wet face.
“Why should it have been choked out like that? It's--it's so brutal!”
Cecilia slid an arm round her.
“I'm so distressed you saw it, dear,” she said.
“And grandfather was so--” A long sobbing quiver choked her utterance.
“Yes, yes,” said Cecilia; “I'm sure he was.”
Clasping her hands together in her lap, Thyme muttered: “He called him
'Little brother.'”
A tear trickled down Cecilia's cheek, and dropped on her daughter's
wrist. Feeling that it was not her own tear, Thyme started up.
“It's weak and ridiculous,” she said. “I won't!”
“Oh, go away, Mother, please. I'm only making you feel bad, too. You'd
better go and see to grandfather.”
Cecilia saw that she would cry no more, and since it was the sight of
tears which had so disturbed her, she gave the girl a little hesitating
stroke, and went away. Outside she thought: 'How dreadfully unlucky and
pathetic; and there's father in the drawing-room!' Then she hurried down
to Mr. Stone.
He was sitting where he had first placed himself, motionless. It struck
her suddenly how frail and white he looked. In the shadowy light of
her drawing-room, he was almost like a spirit sitting there in his
grey tweed--silvery from head to foot. Her conscience smote her. It is
written of the very old that they shall pass, by virtue of their long
travel, out of the country of the understanding of the young, till the
natural affections are blurred by creeping mists such as steal across
the moors when the sun is going down.
Cecilia's heart ached with a little ache for all the times she had
thought: 'If father were only not quite so---'; for all the times she
had shunned asking him to come to them, because he was so---; for all
the silences she and Stephen had maintained after he had spoken; for all
the little smiles she had smiled. She longed to go and kiss his brow,
and make him feel that she was aching. But she did not dare; he seemed
so far away; it would be ridiculous.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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