England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Upper class families -- England -- Fiction
The little model tried to answer, but her words would not pass her
throat; she threw her head back trying to free them, and stood, swaying.
Seeing her like this before him, white as a sheet, with her eyes closed
and her lips parted, as though about to faint, Hilary seized her by
the shoulders. At the touch of those soft shoulders, his face became
suffused with blood, his lips trembled. Suddenly her eyes opened ever
so little between their lids, and looked at him. And the perception that
she was not really going to faint, that it was a little desperate wile
of this child Delilah, made him wrench away his hands. The moment she
felt that grasp relax she sank down and clasped his knees, pressing them
to her bosom so that he could not stir. Closer and closer she pressed
them to her, till it seemed as though she must be bruising her flesh.
Her breath came in sobs; her eyes were closed; her lips quivered
upwards. In the clutch of her clinging body there seemed suddenly the
whole of woman's power of self-abandonment. It was just that, which, at
this moment, so horribly painful to him, prevented Hilary from seizing
her in his arms just that queer seeming self-effacement, as though she
were lost to knowledge of what she did. It seemed too brutal, too like
taking advantage of a child.
From calm is born the wind, the ripple from the still pool, self out of
nothingness--so all passes imperceptibly, no man knows how. The little
model's moment of self-oblivion passed, and into her wet eyes her plain,
twisting spirit suddenly writhed up again, for all the world as if she
had said: 'I won't let you go; I'll keep you--I'll keep you.'
Hilary broke away from her, and she fell forward on her face.
“Get up, child,” he said--“get up; for God's sake, don't lie there!”
She rose obediently, choking down her sobs, mopping her face with a
small, dirty handkerchief. Suddenly, taking a step towards him, she
clenched both her hands and struck them downwards.
“I'll go to the bad,” she said---“I will--if you don't take me!” And,
her breast heaving, her hair all loose, she stared straight into his
face with her red-rimmed eyes. Hilary turned suddenly, took a book up
from the writing-table, and opened it. His face was again suffused with
blood; his hands and lips trembled; his eyes had a queer fixed stare.
“Not now, not now,” he muttered; “go away now. I'll come to you
to-morrow.”
The little model gave him the look a dog gives you when it asks if you
are deceiving him. She made a sign on her breast, as a Catholic might
make the sign of his religion, drawing her fingers together,
and clutching at herself with them, then passed her little dirty
handkerchief once more over her eyes, and, turning round, went out.
Hilary remained standing where he was, reading the open book without
apprehending what it was.
There was a wistful sound, as of breath escaping hurriedly. Mr. Stone
was standing in the open doorway.
“She has been here,” he said. “I saw her go away.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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