Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
“Well, you’re looking as pretty as ever, Shirley,” he continued, noting
that she had not written the telegram and that there was something
wistful in her glance. “Prettier, I think,” and she smiled sadly. Every
word that she tolerated from him was as so much gold to him, so much of
dead ashes to her. “You wouldn’t like to come down some evening this
week and see ‘The Mouse-Trap,’ would you? We haven’t been to a theater
together in I don’t know when.” His eyes sought hers in a hopeful,
doglike way.
So--she could have him again--that was the pity of it! To have what
she really did not want, did not care for! At the least nod now he
would come, and this very devotion made it all but worthless, and so
sad. She ought to marry him now for certain, if she began in this way,
and could in a month’s time if she chose, but oh, oh--could she? For
the moment she decided that she could not, would not. If he had only
repulsed her--told her to go--ignored her--but no; it was her fate to
be loved by him in this moving, pleading way, and hers not to love him
as she wished to love--to be loved. Plainly, he needed some one like
her, whereas she, she----. She turned a little sick, a sense of the
sacrilege of gaiety at this time creeping into her voice, and exclaimed:
“No, no!” Then seeing his face change, a heavy sadness come over
it, “Not this week, anyhow, I mean” (“Not so soon,” she had almost
said). “I have several engagements this week and I’m not feeling
well. But”--seeing his face change, and the thought of her own state
returning--“you might come out to the house some evening instead, and
then we can go some other time.”
His face brightened intensely. It was wonderful how he longed to be
with her, how the least favor from her comforted and lifted him up. She
could see also now, however, how little it meant to her, how little it
could ever mean, even if to him it was heaven. The old relationship
would have to be resumed in toto, once and for all, but did she want it
that way now that she was feeling so miserable about this other affair?
As she meditated, these various moods racing to and fro in her mind,
Barton seemed to notice, and now it occurred to him that perhaps he had
not pursued her enough--was too easily put off. She probably did like
him yet. This evening, her present visit, seemed to prove it.
“Sure, sure!” he agreed. “I’d like that. I’ll come out Sunday, if you
say. We can go any time to the play. I’m sorry, Shirley, if you’re
not feeling well. I’ve thought of you a lot these days. I’ll come out
Wednesday, if you don’t mind.”
She smiled a wan smile. It was all so much easier than she had
expected--her triumph--and so ashenlike in consequence, a flavor of
dead-sea fruit and defeat about it all, that it was pathetic. How could
she, after Arthur? How could he, really?
“Make it Sunday,” she pleaded, naming the farthest day off, and then
hurried out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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