Fresh Every Hour: Detailing the Adventures, Comic and Pathetic of One Jimmy Martin, Purveyor of Publicity, a Young Gentleman Possessing Sublime Nerve, Whimsical Imagination, Colossal Impudence, and, Withal, the Heart of a Child.Toohey, John Peter
General
Fresh Every Hour: Detailing the Adventures, Comic and Pathetic of One Jimmy Martin, Purveyor of Publicity, a Young Gentleman Possessing Sublime Nerve, Whimsical Imagination, Colossal Impudence, and, Withal, the Heart of a Child.
Toohey, John Peter
Press agents -- Fiction
“Say, Wilkins,” he said cautiously. “I’ve been up to see this prince
you’ve got stopping here. That’s some set of rooms. I wonder what
they’re going to set him back.”
“That’s the royal suite,” replied Wilkins. “We don’t get much of a
chance to get any real royalty very often, and I’m making the old boy a
special rate. Mr. Denby arranged for it. We’re only going to charge him
two hundred dollars a day.”
“My God,” stammered Jimmy, almost swallowing his cigarette and clutching
the other by the arm, “you can’t do a thing like that.”
The look of hopeless distress on the press agent’s face caused the hotel
man to laugh uproariously, for a moment, but he checked himself
suddenly.
“What’s the idea?” he inquired. “Why can’t we? You act as if we were
going to charge the bill to you.”
“Maybe you are, old man,” was Jimmy’s response as he led Wilkins over to
the latter’s little office. “I want to slip you a little side-line of
conversation that you’ve got to promise to keep Masonic.”
So it came to pass that in the quiet sanctity of the little office Jimmy
outlined certain unpublished details concerning the activities and real
mission of Prince Rajput Singh though he said nothing about that dusky
gentleman’s previous condition of servitude. He represented him as being
a genuine Indian nobleman, temporarily down on his luck, who had
consented to assist in a carefully contrived and ingenious scheme of
indirect advertising.
“Have a heart, old man,” he pleaded when he had finished. “If you scale
that two hundred down to about—well, say twenty-five and Bartlett’ll
have heart failure even at that figure—I’ll arrange to have his royal
niblets have dinner every night in your Egyptian dining room. You know
yourself you don’t do much trade in there. We’ll have those two Hindu
birds cook a lot of these curry dishes right there in full view of the
audience and wait on him. You’ll be able to hang the little old S.R.O.
sign out in a couple of days, take it from me.”
The assistant manager succumbed to Jimmy’s siren song and consented to
slash the rate for the royal suite in return for the special performance
by the prince and his entourage which the press agent promised to stage
nightly.
Mr. J. Herbert Denby and Prince Rajput Singh made their joint debut on
the lecture platform on the following afternoon before a select and
soulful audience largely composed of middle-aged females who hung
rapturously on every word uttered by both speakers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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