Fresh Every Hour: Detailing the Adventures, Comic and Pathetic of One Jimmy Martin, Purveyor of Publicity, a Young Gentleman Possessing Sublime Nerve, Whimsical Imagination, Colossal Impudence, and, Withal, the Heart of a Child.Toohey, John Peter
General
Fresh Every Hour: Detailing the Adventures, Comic and Pathetic of One Jimmy Martin, Purveyor of Publicity, a Young Gentleman Possessing Sublime Nerve, Whimsical Imagination, Colossal Impudence, and, Withal, the Heart of a Child.
Toohey, John Peter
Press agents -- Fiction
Jimmy wasn’t able to concentrate on his regular duties that afternoon.
He had acquired an obsession and he couldn’t shake it off. The problem
of how to make good on his promise to the gushy Miss Slosson occupied
his entire time and attention. A more careless or indifferent wayfarer
in the field of theatrical publicity might have been content to let that
plump and pleasing person print her story on the following day and let
it go at that, neglecting to follow the idea up and failing to redeem
his pledges. Jimmy knew a dozen of his confreres who would just drop the
thing on the principle that half a loaf is better than no bread, but he
wasn’t that kind of press agent. He didn’t know it, but he was really a
great creative artist in his own sphere and he got just the same inner
satisfaction out of seeing his ideas blossom into realities that a great
painter gets as he watches an imagined color harmony spring into life on
the easel before him, or that a stylist thrills to when he achieves a
perfect phrase after a tiresome search for the inevitable word.
The thought of apple pie haunted him. He just had to have one delivered
from Chicago for Miss Slosson, but how to accomplish this feat without
notifying Madame Stephano or her manager worried him. He didn’t know
anyone in that city he could trust to ship one on in time and he rather
figured that even if he did wire or telephone an acquaintance there the
latter would take the request as a weird practical joke of some sort and
pay no serious attention to it.
He found himself out in the street peering into bakeshop windows and
critically appraising the more or less appetizing pastry displayed
therein. No use to buy one of those pies and attempt to work it off on
Miss Slosson, he thought. They were all too obviously the apple pies of
commerce, pale, anaemic affairs bearing not even a remote resemblance to
the succulent product of the home kitchen. His artist’s soul revolted at
the thought of utilizing one of them to further his nefarious designs.
He exhausted the possibilities of the bakeries on three of the principal
avenues in the center of the city and worked himself into a fine frenzy
of despair from which he sought relief in a motion picture theatre. What
was programmed as a Nonpareil Comedy was unfolding itself on the screen
when he entered and just as he slid into a seat in the back row he
beheld a large object hurtling through the air propelled by the
principal comedian. It struck the comedy villain of the piece full in
the face with a disastrously liquid and messy result.
“My God, apple pie,” murmured Jimmy to himself as he clambered out into
the aisle, barking the shins and stirring up the latent profanity of an
irascible looking man who had slipped into a seat alongside him.
He met Tom Wilson again that evening in the hotel lobby and they went
into dinner together.
“Don’t ask me about that story, Tom,” he pleaded as they sat down. “I
want to forget it for a little while.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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